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by SwimmingPearls

Im tired of being so queerish. Im 100% aware of my oddness and sometimes y just beg for being like a normal person.

So anxious and annoying …

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4 comments

rocketman 6/27/2019 - 11:19 pm

Being like a normal person Is safe but boring.

Soda 6/28/2019 - 4:47 am

Well it’s more about people you’d fit in with. By ‘queer’ I’m assuming that you’re gay or just feel like an outsider?

There are gay/queer communities you could join and there are gay clubs as well and you’d probably find more people like yourself.

headupunderdarkcloud 6/28/2019 - 11:52 pm

To carry at least a little madness about your soul, so much better than stale and too careful. A bit of oddness is great, to be celebrated

Cause of Death: Suicide 6/29/2019 - 2:11 am

Lol I’m a homosexual. But I’m more suicidal than homosexual. I’ve always been homosexual, but I was supposed to commit 7 years ago. I was looking forward to it more than anything in my life.. I planned it for 8 years Lol. I am upset I am still alive, nothing good has happened it has been the same stupid shit as I expected (except a bit dumber than what I formerly anticipated) – maybe due to my sexuality.

I am homosexual, but it doesn’t matter because I am pretty much dead already haha. I’m not actually really interested in a romantic life. But still in saying homosexual, to me it just means I could never enjoy a relationship (romantic, sexual, or even friendship) with the opposite sex. Just like different political opinions, how the Democrats may scare the Republicans and vice verse, I am actually rather afraid of the evil that seems to be the heterosexuals. To me, it is represented by a fish laying thousands of eggs or any species that has an absurd amount of eggs, and the newborns die shortly thereafter anyhow!

Just lately in my 20s have I started being treated foul for my sexuality. Usually the sexuality that I am (don’t feel like giving specific details) if they end up being victims, there are a few cases of my sexuality, gender type being raped/murdered around early 20s. I can say I can no longer walk due to a brutal attack. In which the perpetrator cornered me and forced me into penetration. And this did continue to happen 100+ times afterwards. I have a feeling it is some sort of brainwash into conversion therapy maybe by the church members. I am an atheist however, and shun all religion completely, so that could never phase me.

I am grateful for the few minuscule good moments I have had, but I don’t want to live in a world like this. Lol. Every day my first thought usually is, I wish I would have killed myself how I had planned to 7 years ago.

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