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Fuck, it didn’t work

by johnwhogivesashit

God dammit. I feel like the worlds biggest failure. Can’t even overdose on heroin properly. Got a half gram with my last 40 dollars and snorted like half of it over a day or so. Then when I finally worked up the courage or a case of the fuck it’s or whatever I of course didn’t get the needle like I knew I would need. Snorted the rest in a huge stupid ass line I was sure would work. Guess it’s going to take more than that. All I remember is snorting it. Laying down and then I was half blacking out stumbling around the house running into my useless unloving parents trying to say that I was just super dehydrated and shit. I don’t even remember laying back down but I do remember them checking my eyes and telling me to sit on a chair they put in the hallway and filling up a glass of water a couple times. Fucking woke up the next morning out of dope and still alive. Idk guess I gotta go pawn something or rob the dope man. Idk. Fucking ridiculous. Next time I’m getting like 2 grams and eating one and snorting the rest. Still gotta say fuck needles but then again maybe it’s worth it for that final euphoric buzz and to just make sure. I hate booze so I’m not mixing it. Got some Xanax and barbiturates. Just need the h. Clearly overdosing on h is harder than you would think and that was with like no opiate tolerance. Guess I’m too big for that. Least I get decent dope. It’s pretty raw and euphoric. That fentanyl shit you get west side of Chicago gives you the nods but not the euphoric buzz. I’m just sick of failed attempts. This is like the 3rd time Ive basically had overdose symptoms and haven’t died. I know why I keep failing. I don’t want to waste any dope. Couple days of erupic buzz to work up and then blow the last of it but I’m pinching penny. What do I care if I do 3x what I need to fucking die. I’ll be dead. Not like it’s going to waste. It’s a worthy cause. Here’s to magic number 4.. hehe number 4 heroin now there’s irony. Maybe that’s what was missing a truly ironic death.

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rocketman 6/20/2019 - 6:33 am

That’s one thing I’ve never done shooting up, I’ve had friends that did regularly, the quality has a lot to do with it, everything is stepped on over and over, Funny many people die from over dosing you hear it all the time, I had a friend that did on coke, he was by himself I didn’t know the circumstances, he just pulled over on the freeway and died, maybe it was poison he snorted maybe it was the best stuff? Another funeral I went too, the family was devastated luckily for me we weren’t hanging out, he was running around with people I didn’t know for a few months, So the family knew I had no part in it. another bad memory.

Yikrens 7/29/2019 - 2:40 am

with the best “heroin” you will still need 1 gram, needle, ascorbic acid. and some alcohol.
the worst heroin? in theory… not under 10 gram.
the average heroin quality can take for consumer 2 – 3 gram without alcohol.

dying is not easy except you drown in your own soup.

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