So I have this “friend”. We’ll call her Jane. So for Jane’s birthday in February I bought her concert tickets for us to go to. It was her favorite artist and the concert was in San Francisco, which is about an hour and a half to two hours away. So since it was her birthday I wasn’t gonna make her drive up there. I drove and we had a great time. My birthday came about a month later and she got me concert tickets as well but it was a band I didn’t really listen to. I’ve only listened to one of their songs and that’s it. I felt like the concert was more for her than It was for me. The concert was in Santa Cruz which is probably also an hour and a half from where we lived. So I assumed that she was going to drive since I drove for her. Keep in mind that she has a brand new 2019 car that she got handed to her. And I have a very old car that I shouldn’t really be driving long distances with cause something will break down. I do often spend a lot of money trying to maintain it while saving up for a better car. I’m also the one that always drives long distances whenever we hang out. It never alternates between us. So when the day of the concert came up she asked me If I was driving and I said that really didn’t want to. And she said that she needed an oil change on her car so she can’t drive it because she “exceeded the miles” before getting changed. I think this is such a stupid excuse because I’ve exceeded the miles before getting an oil change and nothing bad happens. She acts like her car is going to explode. Part of me didn’t even want to go anymore because the more I thought about it the more I realized…. I’m driving an hour and a half away from home, to see a band that I don’t even listen to. I dont understand how she said it was a present for me cause it wasn’t. We get to the concert venue and I found parking. I had to pay for the parking. But the parking only goes up to 8pm. And I knew the concert wasn’t going to end until 11. We found a restaurant to eat at down the street. I had to buy her dinner cause she “forgot” her money. After we go to the concert, and she magically pulls out money to buy merchandise. I did not have a good time at all. I don’t even know why I went. After the concert, I was walking towards the exit. And I assumed she was behind me but wasn’t. And I waited 10 minutes before she decided to come out. She told me some guy asked for her number and she gave it to him …….. even though she’s in a relationship. So we walked back to my car and came back to the icing on the cake. A 75$ parking ticket. How nice. I spent 45$ on gas to drive an hour and a half away to go to a concert to see a band I don’t listen to, pay for parking, buy her dinner, watch her hoe herself out, and come back to a parking ticket. Some birthday present. After this is I didn’t see a point in hanging out with her anymore because all she does is take and take and take. And she asked me a few months later if I wanted to go to a concert to see a band I actually liked and I said maybe. And she asked if I could buy the tickets. And I said “I’ll buy the tickets if you drive” the venue is in San Francisco as well. And she said she can’t drive in San Francisco because she gets anxiety. Like fucking christ she’s such a child. She’s been driving way longer than I have and she says that she gets scared driving in a city that SHE’S NEVER ACTUALLY DRIVEN TOO. And I said that it was not a hard city to navigate through and she said that if its such a big deal that she’ll just go with someone else to the concert. Okay whatever. I really need new friends.
27 comments
It’s a shame how selfish some people can be : (
I know 🙁
You should have just left without her…. and let her figure out how to get home.
Half of me wanted to do that
It might have taught her a thing…. People like that tend not to learn though, she honestly sounds sort of like a Disney movie villain though.
Well she’ll learn one way or another. Lol does she?
She really does…. And really leaving her behind would be fitting in a Disney movie too, all concluding with a shot of her angrily screaming as she realizes what happened, waiving her fists in the air. xD It’s at that point that certain audience members clap or react with whatever that emotion is that they would react with…. (I don’t actually know the word, I hope you understand what I mean though)
Lolol okay email?
I don’t really currently have an email I’m super comfortable sharing here, but I do have a kik I think it’s “A Turtle.” I’m weird I’m sorry -_-
I’m just a paranoid and I guess I could make a quick temp email…. I just don’t really like the idea of giving my main email address here where anybody can see it -_-
That would’ve been funny too see but I could never….. until now. Haha and yeah I know exactly what you mean. You’re really funny what’s your snap
-blinks confused- I don’t has a snap thingy
Lol I completely understand! Kik works 🙂 my username is. oaaktrees
Okay xD
That’s awful, I’m really sorry for what happened to you. I know it may be harsh for you to hear and I don’t want to make you sad or upset, but I feel like it’s only fair that someone says this to you. She’s not your friend. She’s selfish and a bad person. You gave her something she loved and also made sure she didn’t pay a single coin while getting to the concert. And what does she do for you? She buys you tickets for a band you don’t even like, she makes you drive there yourself, pay for gas and makes you buy her dinner? I mean who does that? Definitely not a friend. I’m not even gonna bring up the fact that she suddenly had money for merch…
Also I’m really sorry for her partner. Some people might say that it’s not a big deal like she didn’t have sex with him or anything, it’s just a phone number, she’s being friendly blah blah. But if I was her boyfriend I would’ve been really hurt because of it.
If you put your whole heart into your friendship it’s only natural she has to do the same otherwise she doesn’t deserve you. I know maybe you had good moments with her but I’ve also had few good moments with my abuser, who completely ruined my life, broke my heart and gave me a bunch of anxiety disorders. It doesn’t justify her.
I would recommend you cutting all ties with her unless she feels sorry for what she did and promises to be a better friend. But just words aren’t enough, if she doesn’t change then it’s over. Maybe she’s your only ‘friend’ and it’s probably why it’s gonna be really hard for you to let go of her. It’s also gonna be lonely, but trust me it’s better to not have any friends than have a fake one. I’ve had a lot of ‘friends’ who were using me all the time so I know how it feels and it’s not worth it. Also she’s gonna f*ck with your head, make you miserable and make you feel worthless because this is what toxic people do.
I really hope you’ll be able to make true friends in the future. If I wasn’t so awful I could become your friend if you wanted to, but I’m such a bad choice. I’m really super boring, I have nothing interesting to say and I’m very bad at talking XD So I wish you luck, take care 🙂
I would love to be your friend give me your snapchat? And same we can be boring together 🙂
That’s really nice of you, but honestly I’m not the best friend material. If that’s what you want maybe I could try. But last time I tried to make friends I was left with a broken heart and I promised myself to never get involved again. Also I don’t use Snapchat.
Lol we dont have to be best friends if that was you’re comfortable with just friendly?
I had a ex friend like that she would say she misses me and wants to hang out but she would make me drive to her a pick her up and drive her to all the shops she wants to go to then she would ask me if I want McDonald’s or whatever and ask if I’m hungry and she’ll tell me that she’s hungry and I’d say sure then when we get to the store she would say she’s got no money and she would say it’s ok I’m not hungry and then I’d have to pay for her and myself and yeah when she gets to a clothing store or sumthin she will buy her clothes then ask me how she loves this necklace etc then guilt trips me into buying it for her I never hanged out with her again when this one time she told me we should hang out tomorrow so I went over to her house and I never read her text that said that I shouldn’t come over cause she’s sick so I went over and she flipped me of for her f. K buddy from tinder it was so awkward cause he was at the house and I was at the house.. that was the last time I saw her. She only cares about herself nobody else and she also would say she’s mentally ill and shit when she obviously ain’t she just loves attention and stuff. Feel better being alone than being with a fake f. K
Maybe your ex friend and my ex friend should be friends
You will feel better when she’s out of ur life trust me
Most definitely
We can be friends 🙂
I live far from you so really I can’t buy you tickets for your birthday and let you drive for me and pay for my food even though I have money for merch and let you pay for the parking 🙂 idk if that’s a positive thought
? you’re funny
Number one, ditch that old junker, they’re nothing but money pits. My last car used to be reliable till it got pretty old. One thing needed fixing, then another, I poured thousands down the drain and actually a stupid family member talked me into keeping the old car when I wanted to replace it. Finally it reached the end of its life, the engine kept overheating and I realized I should’ve sent the car to the scrapper a couple of years earlier.
Like you I was terrified of driving it too far in case it broke down. I couldn’t meet up with friends for the same reason. Getting rid of it was the best thing I did. Plus I think I was getting scammed by my mechanic. I found an excellent deal for a 2018 vehicle, it’s a world of difference having the new car, I just wish I did it sooner.
So just finance a newer car with around 20-30k kms or so. Mine has a great warranty too, trouble free driving for at least 5 more years. Try not to avoid putting a downpayment since you won’t save much in monthly payments anyways. This way you can drive with peace of mind. If your credit isn’t good hopefully you have someone decent like your father that can cosign.
Now as for your friend, she seems to have this princess mentality as some women do. They want to treated by others but then don’t have the integrity to pay others back in kind. Actually if I was in your place, I’d confront her about the expenses and investment you put into the relationship.
Tell her it’s only reasonable for her to pay her fair share. Additionally she should do most of the driving since her car is newer (until you get a better one) and you can pitch in for the gas. If she truly values your friendship then she’s apologize and then contribute more.
Based on how you described it, it seems she was using you because you’re just “there.” But then you can use her as well since you both have mutual interests. Just don’t put your heart and soul into that relationship. I don’t really think there is such a thing as a perfect friendship. People are friends for their own selfish reasons.
What you need to do is to make sure you’re not getting stuck with the bill when it should be 50/50. Hang onto her if you don’t have any other friends, with the condition she pays half for everything. If she refuses then she’s not a true friend and you should dump her.
Part of the reason she takes advantage is because you allow it. You need to establish limits and stick with them. I got rid of a few toxic people in my life and it’s the best feeling, esp if you find other friends who are more genuine and reliable.
I really appreciate your advice. I will definitely apply it. 🙂
My pleasure, hope it works out for you. Ahhh, if nice people didn’t give me good advice, I wouldn’t made some pretty bad/costly mistakes without realizing it at the time so I’m glad to share whenever I can. 🙂