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Little black duckling

by SwimmingPearls

I hate my Dad,i hate my Mom and i hate my Sister too. My mother and sister both says im a psycopath and that i should be hospitilized. My Father once told me im a bad daughter and a piece of trash and my Mom called me a monster. My Sister is constantly trying to get my parents to punish me. She always says that im a weirdo and that nobody likes me because of that, and that i will die alone. She once even cried because she said i was weirdly dressed and that im not into “fashion”. My Father has violent tendencies and i wouldnt be suprised if i got hitted by him,and more than once i got hardly beaten by my Mother. I hate having the feeling that my parents are ashamed of me. I hate myself for hating my family and that’s something i will never forgive to myself. Im a fucking coward and i dont deserve my family. Im guilty and i deserve to be unfairly treated. :'(

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Cause of Death: Suicide 6/25/2019 - 1:18 am

I have similar experiences, but I can’t really judge which one of us has it worse. I’d call my experiences kind of like premeditated murder. My best advice that I hope to follow, I had the idea to run away a long time ago. Of course, I have yet to be able to run away because if I try they will just grab a needle with tranquilizer in it and shove it into me, I’ve been planning for 3 or 4 years to disown myself from the family completely through the courts and change my name. Then, I won’t have to be bothered by them (of course I am a legal adult now for 7 years) so I shouldn’t have to be held in a stockholm syndrome type situation by the people that have made me want to kill myself since I was a child. Then, finally, I will be able to have a good life unlike the terrible one I have been living. It has been 4 years now of course and I still haven’t changed my name and moved to a different state, so that may never happen and I’ll just always be stuck in this terrible situation. That is kind of how I see it, so I may never get away from the people I hate the most….. Since I have been in this situation so long, it’s like, killing myself couldn’t be worse than the situation I am in.

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