I hear them call my name. “Rose.” “Rose.” “Rose.” It doesn’t stop. They just keep calling and calling. I cover my ears but they just get louder and louder. The more I try to block them out the louder they get. They whisper little things in my ear. “They don’t love you.” “It’s all an act.” “They just feel sorry for you.” “AHHHHHHHH! NOOO! THATS NOT TRUE!” I try again to block them out again. “You know it’s true.” “You see the way they treat you,” and then the lights go out. Images start to fly by of my friends and family. All different moments I’ve spent with them. Heather cheering me up after I lost that soccer game. She looks so fake, I think to myself. My mom telling me the cake can be saved even though I knew it wasn’t possible. She lied to me? They all lied to me. No one really cares. No one. My eyes start to water, and my cheeks become damp. Covering my face, leaning against the wall, I let the gravity pull me down. I just sit there, crying. Thinking of all the moments I’ve been lied to by people I use to trust. “Shhh.” “It’s ok” “We’re here for you.” “We are true friends.” “That wont lie” I curl up tighter. Pulling my legs to my chest, and let the voices engulf me like a warm blanket. Keeping me safe from all the horrible people in the world. All the people out to hurt me. They are all I have now.
7 comments
I always have dreams about people who mean absolutely nothing to me, or people I absolutely hate. I wonder what it means? Just another waste of life, I suppose.
I like how you end it, they are all out to hurt me and that’s all I have now. Be careful there, they might try to murder you.
Just curious do you have schizophrenia? Having auditory hallucinations or are you simply being lyrical? If it’s due to a mental disorder than I’m sorry to hear, perhaps there are drugs to control those symptoms.
If you were just reflecting on your past, I’ve found that when I stop talking to people, I also get a little paranoid and assuming the worst. I’ve found the best thing to do is to stay in touch with your family members/friends, assuming that you can get along with them.
You’ll find most people usually aren’t as bad as we imagine and are willing to try to get along with you. But it does come down to the individual. I do get along with most of my contacts but some people don’t make an effort so I keep them at a distance.
Lol yes and no. Hallucinations aren’t only a symptom of schizophrenia but also borderline personality disorder which I do have. I think it’s either that or bipolar disorder.
Oh ok I didn’t know and I’m sorry to hear that you get them. I hope there is a treatment for that. At least you know it is a product of your own mind and not spirits or something.
I’m sure your family cares about you and being around people is better than being in isolation imo. Best of luck.
yeah i think there is something for it i think. but i dont plan on getting it. and i dont care much for friends and family. they are fakes.
I think you have a gift. I love the art. Keep writing. <3
the arts not mine just a picture i saw on the internet. but thanks about the writing 🙂