its all moving to fast. i feel at a loss. my life seems years ahead while im a few back. basically raised a kid that wasnt mine at 13. moved out at 16. married at 19. now basically 20 and we just bought a home. hes talking about land and all this other stuff and im still back at the wedding 6 months ago. where did my life go? i feel like i missed out on everything. i got kicked out of school at 16 because of my depression. i missed out on graduation and prom. i was looking forward to those. especially graduation. walking across the stage. receiving my certificate. hanging it on the wall and feeling accomplished. its all gone. never coming back. its like my whole life was taken from me. now what? i know this move is for the best but….if i could just go back a few years.
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You feel like you missed out on everything? I understand, I read your life story and it wasn’t an easy one, I can tell that much.
I feel the same, I’m the other extreme, life was too slow for me. I would like to be married, have kids etc. but that never happened. No proper relationships either. I have bunch of respected degrees but they’ve brought me pretty much nothing except some employment opportunities. Those are also questionable now too. The ages between 18-32 I’ve spent with studying and working heavily, and worrying/anxiety. Work-home-sleep in an endless cycle mix in some sports and activities and some episodes of massive depression. I’m 34 now, almost completely alone and always have been completely alone. Not enjoying other aspects of life much either. Lost half of my life and every year I’ll lose more.
The difference is that you are only 20. That is so young. You can still go to school, get a degree (heck if you have money you can even get a Masters/PhD on top of it) and do so many other things. 20 is basically the beginning of life. Seriously.
I don’t know if I should, but I can give you some advice. You mentioned buying a home, which I think is a good sign. It would be really smart to have some financial security, I don’t know about your finance/work status but this is something to keep in mind, at every age in life. If things doesn’t go well with your marriage or some other stupid happens in life, it is good to have something to fall back on.
Second thing is having children, I have seen so many people having difficulties because they had a child too early or whilst in an unstable relationship. I have seen the contrary as well, but I think having a child is not something like “We are married what else are we supposed to do?” , “Eh there is nothing else going on lets have a couple of babies”. A child, unless you choose to be a bad parent, is a good deal of responsibility for at least 5 years. You know already, you raised your brother.
Last thing is dealing with the past. Having a tough time growing up, abuse, parenting/guardianship responsibilities early in life, not having adequate support so on… leave long lasting and significant effects on our psychology and can really limit what we can achieve in life. Whatever it is that we want to achieve. There is a positive side to all this too however, that you gain valuable experiences and learn or become tougher. The key is to be able to suppress the negative effects of your past, and try to find and concentrate on the positives. People always say “Forget the past, only think about tomorrow, live in the present” , while it is true, it is not that easy. Handling the past in a better way should be the goal.
Did I write a novel, probably. Sorry if I’m talking nonsense, I’m in such a mood today I don’t know what my hands are doing even, I apparently cooked lunch and also forgot it completely and noticed 6 hours later when my stomach was roaring, so…
Well, all the good luck to you, I hope things work out in your life.
I have not much use for a PhD or anything like that I’m opening a bakery here soon hopefully. And I could “graduate” still but it wouldn’t be the same. And all it proves is I can read a text book. Sounds helpful in life. As far as the kid thing id love one. A little me. I’d teach them everything I know. Teach them how to be nice. But I don’t want to raise someone in a horrid world. Plus I fear I’ll end up like my mother and I prefer to avoid that at all costs. And I never had a good relationship until now. Plus money isn’t something we have.
All sounds good, money isn’t easy to come by when you are just 20.
money isnt easy to come by when you have debt and deliver papers. thankfully were almost out of it.
Hope Dream Love, I didn’t graduate, because of depression, and a few other things, yes I wish I could do it over myself, why not? But that is out of the question, I took a GED and did fine, I didn’t go to prom either, but that is what happened, I can only move forward, I know what your talking about moving so quickly, just don’t get in over your head, make sure you speak up.
My husband and I just talked about. He said this moving and whatnot is to make my life better and I said I know. So he’s letting me basically do everything. Starting with painting it. I already have the colors picked out. And I’m going to get my own little garden. And no unkept promises from my stupid mother.
Sounds good 🙂 I’m really happy for you, keep a positive attitude a bakery sounds great!
Thank you. I’m making it a special bakery where I use special flour and sugar if you have a gluten or sugar problem.
That’s good a lot of people do. A bakery Is a fun place, people looking at the goods and going I want one of them! A treat! People are always happy getting treats!
my grampy cant have sugar and i just thought it was so sad that people had to miss out on something so yummy. and thats why i decided to make it that type of bakery. plus baking is my happy place. i remember my little brother would be sitting in his high chair and id explain everything that i was doing and when he grew up hed run into the kitchen screaming “I WANNA HELP! I WANNA HELP!” it was so cute
I’m sure the whole neighborhood is going to want to help you! 🙂 Doing what you love to do puts the icing on the cake!
my husband and my grampy is all i need. i have every high work standard plus i would like avoid being robbed
yeah being robbed it’s anything to look forward too, make sure you have a surveillance system and a monitor with a sign that says smile your on camera! They don’t like that.
isn’t 🙂
trust me i will although im not sure ill need it. some idiot will come in waving a gun and ill pull out bat and tell him to leave. i dont give up what i love for no one lol
You are tough! After you place the bat up his ass remember to be polite and say have a nice day! 🙂
i was up for telling him to not come back. although i have my doubts anyone would after that lol
I’d go along with that! lol
It seems like it’s happening fast right now, but wait a few years. Then things will just get blurry and weird and every day will seem exactly the same as the last, only with special sauce that might be tasty, or might be moldy and expired. Every day has its own unique flavor. Yum.
But you are where you are – if you could wave a magic wand and make your life fit the ideal in your head, would you still be the same you who’s looking back asking, “What if…?”