People usually plan how to die and attempt it, I’ve done that too. But this is different and a true story.
It’s was about 2 years ago the world was after me! My work working 12 hr’s a day 6 days a week, a relationship going south, plus a billion other thing’s, I WAS DRINKING HEAVY, TAKING OPIOIDS For a good length of time. The opioids were for my back for real, I was tired, I got into the shower turned on the hot water that’s the only thing that helped my back, And suddenly I felt funny? I felt sick, I COULDN’T BREATH! So I started to open the door then I collapsed down for the count, I fell on the shower door tracks very sharp it cut me across my chest 2 lines, I came out of it but couldn’t get up and couldn’t see I was blind, I CRAWLED with my arms slowly to my bed, It took anything in my power to pull myself on to it, still blind and heart was hurting, I KNEW I WAS DYING! I said to myself well here I go, The phone was right there, I didn’t call 911, by this time my girlfriend at the time came in said OMG! What happened! Are you OK? Should I CALL 911? I couldn’t talk but I SAID I’M OK, DON’T CALL! In a weak voice It took everything I had to do that, I said I’m just sick go away I’ll be fine, For a guy dying I put on a good act, I can’t believe she bought it, So I kept saying I’m fine go away I need rest and I can’t do that with you here asking questions, She listened to me and went down stairs, Then I STARTED TO SWEAT! I was ringing wet, I started heaving nothing came out, The pain grew stronger, Still blind light-headed to say the least I thought to myself well this is it! I was ready to die, I didn’t think of my life flashing before my eye’s, I didn’t pray to god, I was at peace knowing I was going to go, Suddenly the pain started to go away, I started to feel better, I began to see, And I said to myself, OH SHIT I’M COMING BACK! SOB! And I did slowly but surely But I was disappointed and couldn’t believe it. So I told my sister the next day, she said go to the doctor now! OK OK! Well if you go through something like this they run all kinds of test, I had a small heart attack, I say small because it didn’t kill me, My heart does not beat correctly, So this is a funny part as well, The doctor puts the stethoscope on my chest looks me in the eye and very seriously ask DOES THAT HURT! I said what? He said well if that doesn’t bother you lets not mess with it, Lets keep monitoring you, More appointments till I SAID THAT’S ENOUGH! And quit going. My heart does beat really fast for a bit everyday then goes away. But the point is because I refused help and knew I was dying would you consider it a suicide attempt?