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by SwimmingPearls

Feeling so much hate right now… I prommised myself i wont have another rage attack, but i just got one!! I can’t control myself and my anger is constantly manipulating me. I feel hate for everyone. Nobody cares about me. I dont give a shit when someone tells me im important or that they care about me, because i know thats not the truth and that everyone who says me that is a hypocrite! I feel hate for literally EVERYONE. Im just so filled up with madness that i fucking want to end up my miserable and hatefull life. I have NO ONE in this world to love or care abouy. NO ONE. People is not good and every person i met in my life, in some way broke my heart and there’s no turn back . There’s nobody who made me feel special at least one. NOBODY. Not even my own family. Nobody cares about me and that’s not a thought, that’s a fact! Im sure that if i was dead it will be much more easier for everyone to keep going with their lives. Im such a creep.

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Hope Dream Love 7/6/2019 - 5:33 pm

ok i wont say youre worth it. thats clearly not what you want to hear right now. but would you like some advice on how to help your anger. ive got a lot of it and theres this one guy at work thats sending my stress levels through the roof literally. ive got a few things that may help you.

whisper 7/7/2019 - 4:01 am

I’ve been alone with no one for many years. I don’t waste my time getting angry or hateful. Those are the two most worthless emotions in life. Absolutely not one good thing ever came from me hating someone or getting angry, so what good are those emotions to me? Anger and hate when I was younger only chased friends away, it didn’t impress them one bit, so my hate and anger only made it more likely I would eventually be alone.

I left those things, emotions, behind long ago and instead worked on making myself a better person. That was a much better road to choose. 🙂

In any case, life throws us a curve sometimes. Again, do I want to be angry about that, or look for things to laugh or smile about? I have no friends or family now. No one talks to me and I don’t know anyone in this town. Apparently I still look like ‘a trouble maker’ as my waiter recently joked, so people avoid me. Sometimes I go 6 months and the only live person I get to talk with is the checkout person at the grocery store. That…is alone.

Rather than allowing myself to get bitter, or angry in life. I made myself into a fairly okay person. Not a saint, but not a sinner either. Others might avoid me because I look unapproachable, but those few who do talk to me, find a great friend, honest and loyal, an occasional comedian, and someone who knows a lot about life, love, hurt and the many things that go with all that. They’re usually glad they got past my terrible first impression and took the time to get to know me.

I can’t hold my poor first impression on people, against them, it isn’t their fault if they think they need to avoid me, its probably my fault for once being an angry and wild person. ..and it still shows even though that person is long gone.

I have a choice. sitting alone. Do I want to sit around angry and bitter? Will that make me happy, ah, no…I don’t think so. So instead, I try to help others, hold the door for women, okay…everyone, and I try each day to find some little thing I can do to give someone a smile or make their day better in some way.

I’m also disabled. So trying to find and share a good thing or two is one of the few things I have left that I can do, and which makes me happy, despite the situation I’m in.

So its pretty easy. Spend your time alone and angry, which isn’t going to make you happy in the long run, it will only make you more alone, with less friends.

Or, stop letting yourself think too much about the bad things. appreciate the good stuff, even if there isn’t much of it, and each day see if you can make one, small good thing happen. Your life will be much better and on the path to make a few friends, if you are patient, and you will see an increase in the number of happier days. 🙂

Whether we like it or not, its a fact. Bad and hurtful days with no friends…when we let anger and hate take over…will not bring any kind of real or lasting happiness to our lives.

Or we can have at least a few better days ahead simply by not letting ourselves get mean and bitter, and by looking for little things we can do to show others we aren’t so bad after all. That’s all it takes to start making life better.

Its that simple. But it takes making an effort to find and share some good things. It doesn’t take much effort to be angry. Its the lazy way out, and the road with fewer rewards and good things for your life.

The choice is yours, anger and hate will ruin your life…your life…Is that what you want?

Or, decide you will go the opposite direction and see if you can bring a smile to yourself or others every chance you get to do that.

With door #2, you will find it wasn’t that hard to improve your life, and the life of others, just a little by looking for ways to make yourself and others smile. A little effort on that can bring the biggest rewards.

Just some thoughts,

I wish you all the best 🙂

Cause of Death: Suicide 7/7/2019 - 5:59 pm

You are assuming to much importance to homosapiens. I’d assume they are influencing you possibly in a negative way. Nobody has to ‘love’ you that is a social construct and with all those years on your meat costume, you have probably outgrown the need to be loved as you were before so you having a hard time understanding the love you are offered to your current self.

I know it’s something a lot of people say but nice and simple, ‘if you don’t like me, f*ck off.’ Etc etc. You can only do so much. Try not to worry

lifeproject 7/8/2019 - 3:10 am

You’re pretty angry indeed. Hate and anger will just consume YOU, and not solve anything.
I surely dont think all people are nice. But then we are a product of genes, (social) surrounding and upbringing. Nasty people arent born this way; all babies are lovely.

Surely there ARE nice people; maybe not too much of them you can relate to, but there are nice people. try not to be wound up by little things. If you are looking for a perfect person to love you, this is a mission impossible. Love is there despite of differences and you dont have to agree on everything. It’s perfectly ok to agree to disagree. Like Elvis sang: ‘True love travels on a gravel road.’
There’s a lot of wisdom in Elvis’ songs; BEBOPALULA! 😉

Anyway, the point being; dont look for an angel fallen from heaven to come into your life. Nobody is perfect. Perfection is subjective anyway. Dont be too hard on people. Dont be too hard on yourself.

It will make life a LOT easier.

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