I hate myself so much. I’m starting to think that I shouldn’t have reported the guy. I don’t even know anymore. Honestly apart from the creepy stuff… we talked for a while. I admit that was nice. I wish I had just firmly told him to stop kissing me and stuff. I’m an asshole. I was emotional and too afraid of him at the time. I’m not saying what he did was ok, it wasn’t. Alot of this is completely my fault. He was actually willing to just be my friend, and said we could go out back into the public area if I felt uncomfortable being with him alone in the private room. Probably the only decent conversation I’ve had while I’ve been in this country.
Let’s face it he could’ve just been one of those guys who has no clue how to approach women correctly. I think he just really liked me. And this is how I repay him. I know he’s going to hate me forever now. I’m just sorry that I didn’t just tell him firmly to stop. I bet I could’ve resolved this without making a report. All I had to do was tell him to stop and that I’m not interested and all of this would’ve been over.
And now I guess I’ve fucked up his life. If I could retract the report I’d do it right now. But the law doesn’t allow that.
It’s not like the guy was an evil perverted forceful rapist…
Btw we could talk about anything too, which was nice.
I’m just really fucking sorry for what I’ve done. I’d go and tell you face to face how sorry I am for doing this but I know you would hate me now. The only thing I can do here is get over it and not make any more stupid mistakes. I’ve already written to you online about this but I can’t fix this because of how I’ve treated you. You never deserved this.
I don’t want you to get punished. I really don’t. I’m going back to my home country in a couple of days. If I could rewind this I certainly would. I would’ve been completely upfront and would’ve told you that I don’t want you to do this physical stuff to me. That’s what a decent person would’ve done.
He said we could’ve hung out later that day, only if we wanted to, and he never followed me out of the store, he never contacted me again, he said it was up to me if I wanted to contact him again.
I appreciate the conversations we had…
I have to forget about you now because there is no way that I can make amends here.
Damn I hate being so fucked up in the head. I’m waking up, this really wasn’t an abuser. Just creepy at most. Yes I did feel uncomfortable the whole time. But all I had to do was……
Ehhh maybe I’m drowning in someone’s manipulation here.