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by Wisp

I hate myself so much. I’m starting to think that I shouldn’t have reported the guy. I don’t even know anymore. Honestly apart from the creepy stuff… we talked for a while. I admit that was nice. I wish I had just firmly told him to stop kissing me and stuff. I’m an asshole. I was emotional and too afraid of him at the time. I’m not saying what he did was ok, it wasn’t. Alot of this is completely my fault. He was actually willing to just be my friend, and said we could go out back into the public area if I felt uncomfortable being with him alone in the private room. Probably the only decent conversation I’ve had while I’ve been in this country.

Let’s face it he could’ve just been one of those guys who has no clue how to approach women correctly. I think he just really liked me. And this is how I repay him. I know he’s going to hate me forever now. I’m just sorry that I didn’t just tell him firmly to stop. I bet I could’ve resolved this without making a report. All I had to do was tell him to stop and that I’m not interested and all of this would’ve been over.

And now I guess I’ve fucked up his life. If I could retract the report I’d do it right now. But the law doesn’t allow that.

It’s not like the guy was an evil perverted forceful rapist…

Btw we could talk about anything too, which was nice.

I’m just really fucking sorry for what I’ve done. I’d go and tell you face to face how sorry I am for doing this but I know you would hate me now. The only thing I can do here is get over it and not make any more stupid mistakes. I’ve already written to you online about this but I can’t fix this because of how I’ve treated you. You never deserved this.

I don’t want you to get punished. I really don’t. I’m going back to my home country in a couple of days. If I could rewind this I certainly would. I would’ve been completely upfront and would’ve told you that I don’t want you to do this physical stuff to me. That’s what a decent person would’ve done.

He said we could’ve hung out later that day, only if we wanted to, and he never followed me out of the store, he never contacted me again, he said it was up to me if I wanted to contact him again.

I appreciate the conversations we had…

I have to forget about you now because there is no way that I can make amends here.

Damn I hate being so fucked up in the head. I’m waking up, this really wasn’t an abuser. Just creepy at most. Yes I did feel uncomfortable the whole time. But all I had to do was……

End me….

Ehhh maybe I’m drowning in someone’s manipulation here.

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9 comments

hope432 7/3/2019 - 7:58 am

“Let’s face it he could’ve just been one of those guys who has no clue how to approach women correctly. I think he just really liked me. And this is how I repay him. I know he’s going to hate me forever now. I’m just sorry that I didn’t just tell him firmly to stop. I bet I could’ve resolved this without making a report. All I had to do was tell him to stop and that I’m not interested and all of this would’ve been over.”

It was really bad what you did. In my past I was like that guy you mention here, creepy in the sense that I didn’t know how to approach women although I have always loved them. (and perhaps still I am!) I can imagine how he feels. He feels mainly weak and worthless and perhaps he still loves you.If you reported him to the police you made him look weaker and inferior to other men.

But the important thing is that I don’t want to moralize you. I am also sorry about the way you feel and for hating yourself.
I want to tell you my story briefly.
I was hurt myself by a woman who looked like an angel when I was 24. She was 38… anyway… she had previously told me she had been raped numerous times and I couldn’t understand. (I was also a virgin). In one last conversation I showed her a video on facebook on world war 2 because I liked very much history, I couldn’t understand women and of course… I was creepy. She also thought that the video must contain some rape images… although it was just a history video from youtube… I realized that I behaved in a creepy manner by coming with that video. I also had told her some other creepy things although she said we had interesting conversations in the past. Anyway, she insulted me and rejected me from her life… and never talked to me again although I apologized several times by email. The result: 3 years of agony and love for someone who already had a child, found another man and basically her last message was something like “Get help. Go to some mental institution”. You are sick!

Please don’t be like that woman although she was like an angel in her life. You can still help that man. You have already showed that you have some sense of decency by writing him an email and apologize.
I’ve never received any email again from the person who hurt me and she basically let me rot while complaining about her rapes on facebook to random people…

Perhaps you can still go the police(although I admit it’s very hard) and tell them …about the situation… that he meant no real harm… (even if he did mean harm, now you know he is a creepy man who just needs some love). You can do this and write him another email. This way, the curse will end. And you will also prove that there is more hope in humanity and women.
Many men are sexually frustrated, feel weak, are hurt by other men or even by their own mother, think that the women are bad and they become creepy.

Wisp 7/4/2019 - 7:56 am

He found out I made the report and he told me to withdraw it. So I did. Now his life won’t be ruined. This is at my expense because I’ve committed an offence by doing this. Yes turns out I’m able to retract reports. I’m not really sure if I like him anymore though. He doesn’t hate me. We talked today. It’s all clear on his end.

rocketman 7/4/2019 - 8:02 am

Well I’m not right about everything ha ha! Looks like you fixed things. Maybe he learned something?

Wisp 7/4/2019 - 8:51 pm

I sure hope so. I can’t even leave the country today. The police took my passport. So I guess I’m having a longer uhhh… ‘holiday’.

rocketman 7/4/2019 - 8:56 pm

Holly Cow! That’s terrible!

Wisp 7/5/2019 - 7:58 am

Yeah got the passport back today. And a police warning.

rocketman 7/5/2019 - 8:09 am

Sounds like it’s a good time to get running!

rocketman 7/3/2019 - 5:43 pm

What is done is done, don’t get involved any more. Nice guy or not HE SHOULD NOT BE HITTING ON CUSTOMERS LIKE THAT! Your AOK.

Cause of Death: Suicide 7/4/2019 - 2:58 am

If you didn’t consent to him making out with you, that could leave a mental scar in your mind. It sounds like you care for him or you wouldn’t even waste time trying to make this better for him. It won’t ruin his life he will just have to suffer for a time, punishment for this time of thing wouldn’t be that bad. He’s not getting charge for rape, is he?

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