I seriously don’t know how anyone lives.
I have dreams, I have hope, I have friends, but still sometimes, there is that emptiness deep inside me. No. It’s always there, but sometimes I feel it more. Now is one of that times. It’s not that I am not grateful for what I have, but I just can’t stand myself. I can’t stand living my life as myself and I try to change, but it’s so hard.
I failed all my hospital therapies and now i want to ditch therapy to become an actress and I am like actually proper good. But I can’t get to the next level, if I am so depressed, if I am feeling so wrong and bad inside my body. I don’t know how to handle all those feelings kept inside. I don’t know how to handle my sadness. I tried to kill myself about 4 times, but it just wasn’t the right moment.
Maybe after my career failed.
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I get what you are saying. I don’t want to change because there is nothing wrong with me, but I get more terrified every year because I don’t even know who – someone is following me and forcing me into therapy – I would NEVER willingly put myself in therapy because I know there is NOTHING wrong with me!!!
I’ve never had any problems, but I feel like there’s someone following me (someone whom I’ve probably always hated) that wants to make me suffer by forcing me into therapy every year since 2013. Honestly it just makes things worse until I know life is not even worth living!!
I don’t even know who or why they are following me. I suspect it is just untalented stupid folk that just want to make money off people who CAN NOT say NO. (It’s kind of like being raped while you’re asleep or any time when you can’t stop the rapist.)
So you’ve always wanted to be an actress but you’re stuck in therapy? How long have you been in “therapy?”
I don’t believe in therapy, but I have been forced into it like I said …… I don’t even know by who. Like I said I have a feeling I am being stalked, followed.