i am troubled. i failed to save humans in 2016 and are now up to lower dedications, to save the planet. a failure of saving humans resulted in polytoxicomania. i do not even want to proceed in life, to be obsessed with the idea that I could be saving the earth. do i want this? nobody saved me, they just made it more worse or just triggered that I made my Life inflicted with chronic pain.
what should be done?
back to phase 1 to save human, but some are already dead now
proceeding phase 2 with making myself more ill than ever
maintaining phase 3, getting into problems which are global wide
or, phase 4 – which is drafted in my last post in the beginning.
(i have joy with these emotions, this sadness, solitude, lonelines, misunderstood and shining, the progress and the pain everywhere of my body. i could cry if I would not die, living endlessly and I would not be able to have this feeling which is not part of the present causality)