A last sight

Where are you from? I have recently went on a few short trips myself, even though I know there is nothing more for me to see,do,think,feel .. I went up to see the hotel from that popular cult horror movie, The Shining and into a few other mountains. I still don’t have my suicide completely able to be completed, but whenever it happens, I am ready. My life has gone to sh*t the last few years. Ive always been atheist so i just want to do what feels right to me and for so long (about 15 years), I have rather be dead. I could speak more about how miserable I have always been and how I have always been an atheist, but I think this is fine for now. Anyhow, are you planning to kill yourself at this place, or are you going to commit back at home after a last voyage? If you have money, I’ve thought for myself to book a red eye flight to Aokigora forest (the forest in Japan where tons of people go to commit) and kill myself deep in the woods there. I’ve also thought to drive out to San Francisco and jump off the bridge. If you have money, they have the suicide drug for sale in Mexico City (if they allow you in) and I was thinking travel there to buy the drug and commit in a cruddy Mexican motel after trashing all identification cards on my person. I don’t want to be identified after I die and possibly even I don’t want the body to be found, so back at home in my fake life where I live a false persona – the only word will be that ‘I am missing’

I really can’t decide, but those seem like difficult taskly things and I’m lucky as it is if I drive twenty or so miles in any direction – I will be in complete barren wasteland, which I find easy and satisfactory a place to commit suicide. I’ve got to die somehow one way or another, and there’s never been anything in this life for me and there will be much much less in the future. Rather die than live an empty life of denial just postponing death just because I am physically able to keep surviving, although not something I want or even enjoy.