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I need a shoulder to cry on

by nutjobcantlove

I am returning to the site after a year now. After repeatedly failing in everything I did, I luckily moved to a better place last year and I met a guy despite my insecurities and trust issues. He treated me with so much disrespect even after knowing all that I went through. He has no remorse of his mean behaviour. After dating for 8 months on and off, he trashed me. I have a very low self esteem right now and living alone with no friends or family is driving me to my dark place again. This may sound nonsensical, but after a very long time I let someone in and they destroyed me over and over again.

Why do some people never get to see happiness? My best friend who is living thousands of miles away from me has been recently diagnosed with the early symptoms of a fatal disease and I can’t even convince her. Why do some people have to be hurt so much physically, mentally AND emotionally in repeat mode?


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BlackFuture 8/12/2019 - 2:55 am

World is not fair… that’s how it works. So… I dont know, there seem to be no answer, I think.

nutjobcantlove 8/12/2019 - 12:46 pm

There is no answer, true. Just when you try to get back up life knocks you out at your weakest.

Cause of Death: Suicide 8/12/2019 - 7:23 am

I don’t believe in happiness, but I do believe in the lessening of suffering.

nutjobcantlove 8/12/2019 - 12:39 pm

When I got to move out of the bad place I was until last year I felt my suffering lessened, to only see it comeback in ten fold. Only older, lonelier, and more pathetic.

wanted85 8/13/2019 - 12:57 pm

I’m sorry feeling worthless and being trashed by another human is so hard. *hugs* I hope your world gets less dark. And you can emerge and find some sort of happiness again

nutjobcantlove 8/13/2019 - 1:34 pm

Thank you @wanted85 . * hugs* to you too.. I am in that stage of my life where I don’t get a tear for being insulted and treated like garbage. Shocked to see one more person walk off my life, but its just numb no pain no emotional bleeding.

muspelhem 8/13/2019 - 3:54 pm

Am done having sympathy for women who choose to date assholes.

nutjobcantlove 8/15/2019 - 1:08 pm

haha, I wish they come with a tag

a1957 8/14/2019 - 12:31 am

I have been going to a group therapy that gives narcissist abuse support . In it I am learning how remorseless intimates think, behave, attract, retain and where possible, ruin the lives of their victims. Not every remorseless mean intimate is a narcissist but once you start getting your head wrapped around the ways of the narcissist almost all the other disorders and rotten behaviors that make for mean intimates start to become obvious too.

nutjobcantlove 8/15/2019 - 1:12 pm

makes sense

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