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My mind saw the cliff

by darknesslife

I tried to kill myself I got really drunk and I jumped of 58 feet cliff in Niagara Falls and i survived people around me cared for a day or two and they just forgot about me they abandon me my father told me I wish you died and didn’t survive my ex didn’t even care my friends are scared of me they called me a psycho they don’t even want to visit me and they cut me off I’ve been in the hospital for 45 days and I’m still there no one comes to visit me no one talks to me I have no one to talk too So I feel like I’m just a ghost in this world I have no one now I’m just by myself I was think about killing myself but I can’t do it I hate myself so much I hate my life i hate being needy and weak I feel like I have no future I feel like I’m someone with no tomorrow just one thing i learned is never tell people how you feel never tell your friends or family or you would push them away and it will make you feel worst it’ killed me really deep inside when I told my friends how I feel I pushed them Away I pushed so many people away from my life I feel like a ghost I wish if I can escape from this world from everyone people Jude me treat me bad the only person you can talk to about how you feel and would actually listen to you and help you is your doctor he helps me he never judges me it’s time for everyone who is really deep down depressed to unit and stop taking the easy way stop killing yourself it’s time to fight people around you who are asshole be better than them because this people are really weak and you’re stronger than them build yourself believe in yourself don’t let anyone in this world bring you down don’t let anyone kill your dreams and hopes it’s okay if no one believes in you all you need to is believing in yourself you’re a warrior fight for your dreams dont let anyone stop you push anyone in your way keep moving forward don’t give up no one in this world can make you feel better but you no one in this world will help you achieve your goals but you no one can make you stronger but you only you you’re the only one who can change so many things in your life kill the world with love instead of hate some people are killing the world with hate you kill it with love you go out there show the world who you are it’s okay to be sad it’s okay to be depressed bring all your anger out let it all go out it’s okay to fail over and over again it’s not okay to give up

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10 comments

Hope Dream Love 8/23/2019 - 12:32 am

Awwww *hugs* yeah people suck. I went “missing” ( I knew where I was I just got kicked out of school and left home all in one weekend) and not a single hey how are you. No from friend or family. And just before I left my mother called me a fail at life. Before that she might as well have told me to die because i told her I was suicidal and she did nothing. Followed by mocking the cuts on my arm. If you want to talk/have a friend I can give you my fb or email. I won’t leave you alone like they all did. 🙂

shatterediris 8/23/2019 - 4:18 am

People that abandon you are not worth having in your life…. Find new people, there are a lot of them and a lot of them are lonely. I’m sorry about what happened…. Hopefully you can get out of the hospital in a somewhat reasonable amount of time. Good luck.

Bisban 8/24/2019 - 1:33 am

Hi

darknesslife 8/24/2019 - 1:34 am

today i finally got discharged from the hospital it feels so weird being home i cant do so many things because i can’t walk yet and i live alone its so hard to make food with my condition I’m so bored i just want to go out at night for a walk and listen to music bad sadly i cant walk i just feel lost

Bisban 8/24/2019 - 2:18 am

= ]

Cause of Death: Suicide 8/25/2019 - 11:30 pm

I’ve NEVER had ANY friends (lol) – but I HAVE been planning to commit suicide since I was ten. I’ve been planning to commit by shotgun to head. I’m supposed to be dead already. I waited since I was 10 to turn 18, so I would be of age to be able to buy a shotgun to commit with. I pray every night since I was 10 that god would help me out and kill me painlessly while I’m asleep .. I started doing this when I was a child, and being molested. I would usually pray this after being molested. Shamefully, I am still alive and 25. I feel like I failed myself by not completing my goal of being dead at 18. I even would of been proud to have completed suicide any time between 18-25. I have a few methods in mind that I could commit by other than shotgun to head (but that’s always been my favorite because you won’t feel a thing and you will 100% successfully die immediately.) Since I was ten dying by shotgun to head has been my only hope and wish. No other method is as quick and painless because I cannot handle pain. But since I’ve missed my date by so many years and am still alive for no reason and unwantingly.. I’m starting to become less fearful and open to any type of method, anything that will kill me no matter if it causes pain or not. I’ve begun to hurt myself to ripen myself up for the day that I kill myself. Like I say I used to be terrified of pain and unable to tolerate it. I’ve started to slam my head against concrete, I’ve started to use my nails to scratch down my body, and I’ve started biting chunks out of my skin. I have tried to commit suicide by pill overdose after I was followed and reported to police by a stranger a few years ago when they took my license for 2 years. It was really painful and I think I died but I came back to life. I’ve never had anything to live for but now add that with being tortured.

Bisban 8/24/2019 - 2:19 am

Did they provide you with a wheelchair, those are fun. =b

darknesslife 8/24/2019 - 3:21 am

they did

Bisban 8/25/2019 - 12:19 am

How r u

= o

shatterediris 8/24/2019 - 3:23 am

wheelchair riding down hills then? xD (this is probably a horrible idea)

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