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so close……..

by lookingforanswers999

HI . I am new to this site and from Canada.  I am over 50 , have bone cancer and all I want is to leave this earth on my terms.  I bought the balloon time helium but like others I dont know what regulator or tubing to use in order to set it at 15 psi according to betty lol

If anyone wants to share this information with me please do….I feel so desperate I cannot walk very far and get tired so fast now.  But you know Canada we will fill up every hospital bed and lose any dignity we have just to die, something just doesnt seem right about that.

lookingforanswers999  xo


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Soda 8/13/2019 - 7:10 pm

Firstly we can’t discuss methods. Also often Helium is mixed with oxygen so it is not longer effective.

But there’s a much easier solution, Euthanasia is legal in Canada, esp for the terminally ill. In your case you’ll have no problem being accepted.

They are working to make it even more widely available, hopefully that happens.

rocketman 8/13/2019 - 8:05 pm

Sorry about your situation what Soda said is correct, the helium is not pure and may just make thing’s worse for you.

some kid 8/14/2019 - 12:29 am

Im way younger than you but I could put myself in you’re shoes. Because of family history and other reasons which are widely criticized so i won’t mention them.. i think i will die of cancer or suffer from an autoimmune disease or maybe dementia or alzheimer’s. I know I sound like a hypochondriac but I swear I’m not, I just like to look at things from a honest and pessimistic perspective.
First let me say that I feel sympathy for you, dying of bone cancer seems like one of the most miserable forms of cancer to die of. Its like experiencing osteoporosis at a rapid pace, with other symptoms I would imagine.
I’m curious why you would want to commit suicide instead of letting the disease finish you off. Unlike dementia or an autoimmune condition that could potentially make you suffer for many years, cancer will finish you rather quick . Especially if you don’t mess around with chemo or anything. Its true that in the end or in you’re case more than just the very end; you may lose you’re independence and have to rely on others; but its only temporary. Even if you were put into a disgusting facility it wouldn’t be for very long.

I understand you’re sentiment, i hate the existence of nursing homes and facilities, because in this day and age no one will let you die in peace. they will prolong your existence, bankrupt your family, and make you suffer for years upon years. back in the old days i’ve read that at least some native american tribes, when they felt that they’re time had come they would go out into the desert to die naturally. in japan when a relative grew to old and weak to help work, he was carried to a mountain and abandoned by his family to die. i feel these are beautiful ways to die, and relieve all the unnecessary suffering that is brought about when elder ones are kept alive.

anyways since you’re time is near anyway why not just let cancer finish you off, being stuck in a hospital bed, you will lose some of you’re dignity i suppose. but you still have you’re mind right, why not just view this as a slow suicide method, personally because of my fear of another terrible disease, i feel cancer is one the best ways to go. well to each his own..

lookingforanswers999 8/14/2019 - 9:46 pm

Thank you for all your thoughts. I have decided to stop the chemo and I have no doubt it will be months of pain before i die. I dont want my family to see me this way they cry every day for me. I just want them to stop crying.

Soda 8/22/2019 - 12:33 am

Not sure if you read my response but Euthanasia is legal in Canada for the terminally ill.
Which means they can give you some drugs and you’ll pass away quickly and painlessly.
Why die slowly from cancer? Your choice though.

lookingforanswers999 8/23/2019 - 2:31 pm

I dont qualify for that. If I do the chemo I may go into remission so they would not give me that option unfortunately.

Soda 8/25/2019 - 2:14 am

Hi, sorry to hear that. I’ve heard they sometimes bend the rules to make it easier to be approved. I’m assuming you’ve tried already with them. Yet I’ve heard hundreds if not thousands have ended their life by this process each year.

It makes no sense that they’d make it more difficult for people who are already suffering with illness like in your situation. I think more work needs to be done to make Euthanasia in Canada fully liberalized and open to anyone that wants it.

lookingforanswers999 8/26/2019 - 4:21 pm

You may be right but I am sure it would take months if not years to get all the right people to sign off………I am not that patient, lol

some kid 8/15/2019 - 12:03 am

are you afraid of death.. like the afterlife if it exists. i’m afraid but i still have a lot of time. but you’re so close.

i have an uncle who passed away from non hodgkin’s lymphoma two months ago. him having cancer never bothered me too much, because i always thought he would overcome it. at first he sought treatment in mexico, that was different than chemo and less strenuous on his health. That didn’t work so he went back to the states and went full on chemo. still i always thought he would he could overcome it, and even if he didn’t it would be a long fought out battle between him and cancer.
but then one day he had car – t cell therapy and it became to much for him, and he was gone by the next day. i cried all day and tried to express my thoughts on paper. i wish i could have said goodbye to him, i still fill emptiness because i never got to properly to have one last defining conversation with him. at his funeral i couldn’t stop crying i was in absolute despair. i was so confused how someone i once knew so well could suddenly cease to exist. it’s difficult for me to fathom, its like having a puzzle of memories and relationships, and to take out several pieces. it doesn’t make any sense.
a loved one will never be forgotten, they’re memory will always be there to make you yearn for the past, or make you sad and distressed, and hopefully to remember the good things the person stood for. i don’t think you have to worry too much about you’re family missing you, it may take years; but in time you will fade away to be a distant memory. at least i can say this from my perspective, he was only my uncle so those closr to him may feel things differently.

my uncle never feared death because he was a christian, i would encourage you to seek out god before its to late. if you ever want to talk to me then you can email me at morganbooher1 gmail.com.
i’m just a 19 year old kid though so it may be fruitless to talk to me though. maybe read the parallel thought’s posts: just search it in the url.

lookingforanswers999 8/15/2019 - 11:58 am

Your uncle sounds like a very smart man. I know his soul is still with you so you have nothing to feel guilty about. He would want you to be happy and move forward in your life. You are 19 but you are very articulate, like a wise soul. I bet he is very proud of you.

No I am not afraid of death at all. I dont know if heaven exists but i do believe our souls and spirit can never die . Your uncle is still with you, just not in the way he used to be. IF you talk tol him, he can hear you, You have your whole life ahead of you so dont waste it , you deserve it.

lookingforanswers999 8/16/2019 - 2:45 pm

I forgot to hit reply…lol

shatterediris 8/25/2019 - 8:23 am

I am a bit sad that I didn’t see this earlier, but I do hope that things either work out well for you, or have already worked out well…. Good luck with things.

lookingforanswers999 8/26/2019 - 4:18 pm

Dont be sad for me, I have faith that something better will be waiting for me on the other side

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