not suicide related
Well what a weird experience it was being at my boyfriends PC (with his permission)! He showed me that he’s got loads of folders containing p orn (with all kinds of women, different body types, shapes). He never looks at it (p orn) when I am around in real life. I don’t really care if he’s got so much porn but wow was it an experience, I did not realize he was actually into everything. What a *bleep* eye opener. Cool, thanks for showing me??? Lol!
He also has alot of screenshots of himself from that video game. Well over 50% of screenshots actually contain me as well. Even screenshots where I’ve really been rather desperate (yeah dude its so damn funny to take screenshots of me showing interest in a female player just so I can get your attention – this was before we got back together btw (me and him)).
He’s not even defensive about any of this… he talks so casually about both things. ‘Yeah I’ve got alot of folders with porn, we can look through them if you’d like to’.
Maybe I’m asking this… is it typical for guys to have such a GIGANTIC porn collection? I’m talking about thousands of pictures.
We have a rather nice sex life so its not about that… ofc, I’m still trying to figure out whether I want to live or not. I don’t feel bad when he is around although he is rather intense, overwhelming and can be opinionated. Sadly I know everything could just fall apart, I chose this… and if it all comes crashing again, I only really have myself to blame.
I guess I’ll just enjoy it while it lasts…