so I took a tiny break and I’m actually good, I’m feeling pretty hopeful. I’ve been buzzed the past few nights because my ma has brought home this homemade beer, it’s fucking amazing. But I realized that alcohol is actually pretty cool if I don’t overdue it lmao. I feel good as hell and it’s dope asf not feeling depressed every night.
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I find it depends with me. If I’m drinking or smoking up alone or with people that aren’t it’s boring and I find myself more depressed than before. But if I’m having fun and were all hanging out it’s awesome and like the rest of the world doesn’t exist.
Eh, only one of my friends knows I drink and they smoke a lot, I’m fine drinking if I’m by myself cuz it’s just the carefree feeling I get from drinking
I wish. My friend hates it and really wish I wouldn’t. But a person can only take so much “I must die” before they take a break and do what they can to make it be quiet for a little bit. It doesn’t feel carefree for me when someone cares.
“Only feel bad while you’re thinking” that’s basically my motto, though, what you said does make sense. My mum just feeds my habit; tonight we’re cleaning out the mini fridge of beer to make room for the homemade stuff. Besides, I’m tryna chill before school on Wednesday.
Ah yes school starts up again. A whole other problem for my already problem filled life. (No I’m not in school although I wish I was. But my brothers are going to school and I haven’t seen them in years)
I don’t have a problem with school tbh, I just hate being told what to do by miserable assholes. And my school is shit; there were five fights in one day, and everyone’s smoking pot in the bathrooms (can’t really complain about that one tbh)
I love school. It was my way to get out of the house. I had honours until my depression kicked my ass. I remember being so proud of that. And then I got kicked out a few years later because my depression became so much i just didn’t care. And the worse part is it was my parents fault for causing an uproar in my life that I didn’t need and they knew it. They were just pissed off they couldn’t control me and get me to do their dirty work anymore while they fucked and got drunk and stoned (yes I have no respect for them they abused me in multiply ways)
Man that’s shitty, I’m sorry you had to deal with that. My ma used to be an alcoholic and abused me and my brothers so I can relate, probably not to the extent you had to deal with though. I hope things start looking up for you <3
Emotionally. Physically…….ummm one one not quite ready to talk about although options ran out so I’m sure you can guess.
Just before I moved out she called me a fail at life. And one day we were over at our friends house and an episode of the big bang theory came on and they said something like “pancakes are like kids you throw the first one out” and they agreed with our friends right there and I’m the oldest of 3. Like nice to fucking know.
Your parents sound like pieces of shit. It’s good you got out of there, if you want to look on the bright side, though it’s hard to focus on the good stuff when you’re depressed
Yeah. But it’s really easy to when you’re stoned. Which I may or may not be. Lol