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by mhm1000

You know that feeling you get when you just want to walk and walk until your feet ache and you feel like you’re home? It’s like a feeling that nags at you constantly, it makes you feel helpless and it makes you just want to lay on the floor and listen to sad music. It’s like a… constant feeling of shame and self-loathing; for no reason. I feel like I’m crumbling; spiraling down into pure apathy.

 

I just want to feel at peace, I want to feel good. Though, my mum is getting a shit ton of alcohol before school starts because I insisted on having “one last night of fun before school starts.” We both laughed, and she agreed. I’m gonna get fucking blasted: Thank god for drinks. I’m a loser and my self-loathing is so low that I’ll fuck with my brain development for a moment of bliss. If I had access to drugs, you bet your ass I would be doing them. Well, school is starting and there’s a bunch of druggies in my school. Maybe I can ask for a favor.

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5 comments

muspelhem 8/15/2019 - 2:36 pm

What do you want in life? What interests you? What do you enjoy?

Cause of Death: Suicide 8/15/2019 - 11:38 pm

I’ve been thinking a lot of doing heroin lately, but I’ve only met a few dealers.

Bisban 8/16/2019 - 12:27 am

Brain, alteration or expansion, perhaps. It’s not going to deter your development, or in other words, it’s not going to deter, who that you are. Of course, I’m strictly only referring to the medicinal weed and beer, by the way. The only ill notion that I could think of, those two, medicines, is if somehow, you got a hold of some shady stuff.. you need to be very careful about that. Other than that, these are things meant to be rejoiced. Anyways..

Bisban 8/16/2019 - 1:05 am

Open foot, insert mouth. Again.

wintergirldying 8/19/2019 - 8:31 pm

Coke. If you’re in college then there’s a shit ton of people who have it or deal it. That’s how I’m going out, some blow and alcohol. Hope you have a good night.

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