As I’ve gotten older, I’ve started to see this side of my dad that I fucking hate. He goes on these political rants when he sees something that pisses him off and just spews off at the mouth about how marriage is meant for a man and a woman. But he makes homophobic comments and I’m a lesbian (he doesn’t know, for obvious reasons). Whenever I see him or I’m around him, I just get sick. He comments on the way I dress (men’s clothes, joggers, t-shirts, sneakers), he comments on me having short hair (it’s down to my shoulders for Christ’s sake). My mom remembers a time when a 16-year-old Britney Spears was on the T.V, and my dad said he would fuck her. A 16-year-old! That’s fucking pedophilia! I have to go to his house tomorrow to sleepover and I don’t want to, I don’t want to be near him anymore, he disgusts me and tries to tell me how to act and look; I feel like I’m just an object and since I don’t look like a “pretty” girl (long hair, feminine clothing, feminine way of carrying myself), he just shits on everything I do. But then, he tries to change his mind about everything because he can tell it makes me self-conscious, so he’ll change his opinions. Example: “I don’t care if a guy and a guy get together or a girl and a girl, but I think it’s wrong for them to marry.” When it’s so obvious he just doesn’t like it at all! Imagine going into a house and staying there for three days, knowing that if your father knew you were a lesbian, he would get mad and disgusted Sorry, this is long, I’m just stressing about a lot of things right now.
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Lol
One thing you might want to remind him is that he will soon be old, crippled and in need of family support (you). So he might want to tone down his hate because he won’t be the emperor forever. It’s not a particularly happy thought, but it’s something I remind myself of every day regarding my racist, homophobic parents who are getting up there in age. I hope their hate will keep them company because I sure won’t.
My grandfather was very lucky that my father is very forgiving of horrible things, because I certainly wouldn’t have helped him through his elderly years if I were up to me. I disagree with my father for doing what he did, but I can’t be that angry. And being old is not an acceptable excuse for being racist, homophobic and more. :/
Seems you inherited your parents’ charm. Good to know you’re there to carry on the assholery.
At least it sounds like you don’t have to live with him…. Do you really have to see him at all though? If you can cut him out of your life entirely, it may be worth considering. I’m sorry.
You don’t seem very accepting either. You called him a paedo for expressing attraction to a 16-year-old (which, for the record, is not paedophilia, but likely true of most straight men in existence).
But of course you wouldn’t know, because straight men’s sexuality is as policed by society as your own.
You both have some frustrations about life. Hope you find the acceptance you seek.
what? I don’t know where you’re from but if someone isn’t 18 years old, theyre still considered a “child/teenager” by law. A child cannot consent and a pedophile is someone who is sexually attracted to children, I’m not saying my dad is a straight up pedophile but I am saying it’s creepy. How is saying that’d you’d fuck a 16 year old if you got the chance, when your someone in your 30’s, not creepy? And I don’t care if a man is straight and wants to fuck, go ahead. I care if an *adult* (straight or not, man or woman) wants to fuck a kid.
It’s….weird in Canada. You aren’t an adult until 18/19 depending on where. But at the age of 16 you can consent to things just not to someone over 18 (there’s x amount of years and stuff involved but idk them right off. It might just be no one 4 years older I’m not sure) so in Canada if they are 16 or older it’s not child stuff (Sorry it’s a touchy subject for me but you get it lol) also without going into details it’s not….always creepy. In that case yes but not every case.
So you come from a puritanical culture. Big deal. Paedophilia means being attracted to prepubescent children. That does not generally include 16-year-olds. Agree that it’s not appropriate for a father to say to his wife and daughter. But believe there has been research showing that most men are attracted to girls down to the age of 14. Again, that’s not prepubescent, but it’s young. Here, the age of consent is 15.
That’s not to say that people shouldn’t exercise judgement, it’s just to say that branding a man who is attracted to a 16-year-old a “paedophile” is an overreaction.
But whatever.
Why are you being so angry? All we were doing was commenting.
Got no beef with you, you’re cool. It’s that turd Dresden that’s the problem here.
For sure, I agree with you 100%. Innocent until proven guilty is a motto I will always stand by, to be honest.
I know there’s a different term for adults being attracted to teens but pedophilia is commonly used to refer to adults attracted to minors that are below the legal consenting age. But the age of consent is different where you are so you see nothing wrong with it and that’s fine, I’m not gonna rag on where you live. But where I am, it’s considered pedophilia. And I’m sorry, but if what you said is true about most men being attracted to girls down to age 14; that’s absolutely disgusting, in my opinion. And an adult fucking a kid, teenager or not, is taking advantage of that child.
That’s exactly the point: You find it disgusting because men never talk about it. You think those men who puff their chests and threaten to lynch “creeps” are innocent themselves? Of course not. It’s all just social positioning. It’s the male equivalent of slut-shaming. Also, there’s a difference between being attracted to something and acting on that attraction.
And again, the definition of paedophilia is really unambiguous.
See….i can’t exactly agree with that. In 80-95% cases yes. So overall yeah that makes sense. But some people are more mature than others and that’s where the line becomes blurry. Kid yes there’s no blurry line but 17…18 yeah that lines getting blurry.
It’s not weird for an adult male to be attracted to a 16 – 18 year old girl. Jeezus. I like to think I’m a pretty upstanding individual, but I’m the first to admit that I’m attracted to some 16 year olds. And I don’t think I’m a pedophile at all.
Also I find it pretty funny that a lesbian is going around condemning straight male sexuality, and deciding what is and is not okay. Didn’t people do exactly the same thing to lesbians for thousands of years, and now you’re doing it as well.
dude, i just cant understand how adults can be attracted to 16-year-olds. im done talking about it and i’ve been done talking about it. i’m not “condeming” straight men. i dont care about your sexuality as long as it is legal. in the place that i grew up, men or women that are attracted to minors, are considered pedos. it might be different where you live.
i made a mistake. pedophile is too strong a word. But in the area where I grew up, it’s not normal; its creepy and gross.
Yeah but it’s like those MAPS you see on Tumblr trying to justify their attraction to teenagers or kids; it’s still nasty to think about fucking a kid or a teenager (if your an adult). And slut-shaming is just talking shit about women or men who sleep around with other women or men. They don’t seem comparable because one is legal and honestly not anyone’s business, while the other one is gross. And, I might be biased and speaking from personal experience, but people who act on their urges and rape a kid, deserve the death penalty. All rapists in my opinion. I just can’t bring myself to have any sympathy for a pedo. An example would if a pedo were to get assaulted, I wouldn’t lose a second of sleep over it. Wow this is longer than I expected lmao
i agree with the death penalty. (this coming from the one whos grandfathers in jail) but the problem with the death penalty is people are wrongfully convicted all the time. and in some cases the “victim” lies about it and now those innocent people are dead. thats not very fair
Yeah but of course you would feel that way, because you’re a woman. Of course you would be okay with hating on male sexuality. Of course you would see slut-shaming as entirely different, because suddenly that is a potential threat to you.
Wow, I was just having a conversation and now it just seems like you became unnecessary hostile lmao. I don’t agree with sleeping around, but it’s not my business. Why would me being female have anything to do with that? Just because I’m a girl doesn’t make me agree with everything women say or feminism or any of that bullshit. And you act like I’m automatically sexually active because I’m female; like dude, no, I still have to sleep over at my dads because the court says so, if that says anything about my age.
nope actually thats right and a complete difference. and being a women has nothing to do with this.
Literally one of the most popular categories in porn is “teens”. Now, because it’s porn, they’re 18+. But why do you think that is so popular? Sexuality is much less neat and tidy than you may like it to be.
E.g. there’s a notorious Belgian paedophile who murdered several girls and is just a total monster.
Do you know who sends him flirty fan mail in prison?
Teenage girls.
The world is fucked-up. Sex is fucked-up.
Wasn’t commenting on whether you’re sexually active or not. As a woman, you have different biological imperatives than men do. Your challenges in life are different. E.g. you probably have more concern for your safety than men do (when it comes to the opposite sex). And all sorts of other crap. So your perspective is different.
Also women have quite a lot of power, because they control procreation (and it’s the same for females in many other species). Which is why men run around doing dumb shit to impress women.
So women have quite a bit of social power. Including when it comes to laying down the law on what is “appropriate” and “inappropriate” behavior.
So yeah, was just saying, bear that in mind, that you’re being subjective because of where you’re coming from, because of the instincts engraved in you by thousands of generations of evolution.
And the same is true for men, obviously. Subjective too.
I REALLY REALLY THINK WE SHOULD ALL JUST DROP THIS! PEOPLE ARE SAYING THINGS THAT DONT NEED TO BE SAID.
ALSO THIS IS ONLY IN CAPS BECAUSE APPARENTLY THE LAST TIME I SAID IT, IT WAST SEEN. although i guess its still yelling. like yelling over people to get their attention. but not yelling in a bad way.
Yes but that is why children have parents. Children have parents because kids are stupid and do stupid things because they don’t know any better. And just because a teenage girl is flirty with a grown man, doesn’t give that man the go-ahead on fucking her. An adult can’t just take advantage of some teen like that, it’s fucked up. Adults are supposed to protect and be responsible for their own actions. The adult can’t just say “oh, that 15-year-old was coming on to me so we had sex, therefore it’s not statuary rape.” Thats fucked up jo matter what; adults can’t fuck teenagers and then say their not responsible the teen was flirting with them.
Dude. It’s not your website.
yeah i was personally there and yeah. it doesnt mean yes. its more like an ‘i like you’ but i still think we should be dropping this.
youre right its not mine but this post has been reported once if not twice by now. it is their site.
Are you referring to Hope Dream Love or me? I’m confused lmao
i assumed me because i made a comment about the site in a way
That wasn’t the argument. The argument was that sexuality is not neat and tidy.
Men are attracted to fertility. They are attracted to youth. That means that in the eyes of men, women reach peak attractiveness at maybe age 18-25 or something. That also means most men will be somewhat attracted to girls that have gone through puberty.
And it just doesn’t seem helpful to attack them and call them “paedos” because of that. That term should be reserved for what it actually means.
That was all. Sorry. If that idiot Dresden hadn’t gone in full chihuahua mode this discussion wouldn’t even have happened.
yep we all agree it has blurry lines we can drop it now. we’re just arguing that we’re agreeing and thats stupid. not the people arguing that you agree.
No need to apologize, I actually liked having this conversation. And it is best if we just drop it because in the end, we both live in different places, so our opinions will be different. And it doesn’t seem like either of us are going to be changing our opinions anytime soon. Wish you the best (:
Well, you do deserve an apology for having your post derailed like that. Sorry. Don’t endorse what your dad said to you guys. Hope the best for you and that you get the freedom to live your own life on your terms. Used to be friends with a lesbian, there seem to be good people in the culture (or whatever it’s called), if you can locate them.
Its good to know who the pedophiles and victim shamers are on this site. Mhm1000 don’t let them diminish your pain. Your father is a creep, and no 30+ year old married family man should be boasting about f** a 16 year old girl. Anyone who defends him is probably just as creepy so ignore them.
If you meant me (if not ignore this lol) I’m not defending him. In fact I highly doubt you meant me because I even said in that case yes creepy however for some reason people on here have either not been reading my entire comment or taking them completely wrong even though myself and others included have no idea why. But again…in case you meant me because I did say not every case….i was defending my relationship. Which I’d really prefer not to go into but there was a whole court thing and I almost jumped off a bridge…..maybe I’ll make a post about that in the future who knows. Again though if you didn’t mean me ignore it I’m just tired of people blaming me because they misread something 😛
Hope Dream Love, no I was talking about the pedo in the room (musphelhem) who thinks all old men want to boff girls who haven’t gotten their drivers license yet. Stay off the streets bro. You proved my point with his deranged rants and angry insults that you’re a wee bit unbalanced today. And by the way I took my name from a passage in something Vonnegut wrote. But I guess you don’t have any Vonnegut in your van.
Oh ok cool 🙂
No Vonnegut, no. Also no random shaming attack on other users of a suicide site. You are a charmer, aren’t you?
But props for the literary reference. That really shows the measure of you. You’re cultured. You’re a cultured person. A pathetic social climber, yes, but cultured.
Ah, I see English is not muspelhem’s first (or tenth?) language. Make sense next time. Or just stick to your original thesis that desiring to commit statutory rape is “true of most straight men in existence”. You said it bro. I don’t need to humiliate you further.
You’re only humiliating yourself, “bro”.
You’re the one failing to distinguish between feeling attracted to someone and taking advantage of them. You’re the one equating feeling attracted to someone below a (comparatively high) legal age of consent of 18 with paedophilia.
And you’re the one trying to score social points (on a fucking suicide forum, how pathetic is that?) by ragging on other users.
Bravo
actually from what im reading youre the one yelling and stuff however he does kinda have a sarcastic tune. you know though im up for just stopping all this and just ignoring each other.
Oh, okay, calling other users paedophiles is “sarcastic”. Got it.
i forgot that one. thats not fair. but it was going a bit far.
No sarcasm. Pedophilia is a serious psychiatric disorder where adults are sexually attracted to prepubescent children. Puberty typically lasts as late as ages 14-16. One way or another, the point is that an adult, married family man shouldn’t be bragging about wanting to bed a child (child as defined by being a legal minor).
muspelhem made the extremely self-incriminating statement that “most straight men in existence” fall into this category. Again, no sarcasm here, if he truly believes that then he has a warped mind with certain pedophilic tendencies. At the very least he’s a fan of R Kelly.
His bizarre, furious ranting and name calling just cemented my point, as I said, that he’s a wee bit unhinged.
But what I find extremely intriguing is his strange non sequitur about “social climbing” and “scoring points”
???
That’s a real head scratcher, bro. Projecting your own insecurities much?
Pre means “before”.
Isnt’t a literary gent like yourself supposed to know that?
On a more serious note, if you don’t STFU with your baseless slurs, you’re getting reported.
You interest me, muspelhem. I would actually like to get more info on how your head works (no sarcasm). Feel free to carry on with insults, I don’t care. But my main interest in you is the way you react violently angry to anyone questioning your views on pedophilila.
Also, if you consider my joke about you driving a van as a “slur” (I thought it was pretty humorous) then by all means report it so the mods can see how many times you called me an asshole, turd, and you forgot “poopie pants”.
So when you question someone’s views on race, do you go straight to calling them the n-word, or do you kind of build up to it slowly?
you 2 should really knock it off. the adult thing to do is ignore each other not play cat and mouse by taunting and and taking the bait
Muspelhem, take a deep breath.
Serioiusly.
Ok, now please listen calmly. The n- word is an insult, like “asshole”, “turd”, “idiot” or any of the other childish insults you’ve thrown around in this thread.
Pedo or pedophile is not a slur. I stand by my opinion that anyone (you) who defends a married adult family man when he brags about sex with a minor, and you further entrench yourself by claiming that “all straight men” feel that way, then literally I believe you have a pedophilic mindset.
So going back to your example, if we were to have a discussion about race and you said “all black men want to have sex with 16 year old girls” I would most CERTAINLY call you a racist. I have thrown no “slurs” at you. Take a hard look at yourself. You’re projecting like a mofo.
Never expected a post of mine to be so controversial yikes
muspelhem is just very angry today. I’m seriously trying to diffuse the situation by bringing us down into intelligent debate. That’s how conflicts should be ended.
lol yeah mine are typically pretty quiet. im not sure if i like it that way or not. i mean yes if its not arguing.
when mosts peoples anger levels are high theres no such thing as an intelligent debate. it really is best to just ignore it
Nah, dude. You’re being extremely unpleasant.
Based on your own arbitrary ideas about paedophilia, which don’t happen to correspond to the actual definition of the term.
And based on your misinterpretation (and generally lazy relationship with the truth, as judged by your ability to accurately represent your opponent’s argument), you’re throwing about accusations which you know that a) the law treats very seriously, and b) society in general reacts very strongly to.
It’s troubling that you have no qualms doing that, genuinely.
Also laughable that you claim to be “defusing the debate” whilst still lobbing accusations of paedophilia. Bit inconsistent, no?
Hope Dream Love, we’ll see.
I’m sensible enough to admit that my van joke just escalated tensions. But aside from that, I really stand by everything I said and I think it was more or less intelligently worded, with no insults or slurs. I personally don’t care when people sling insults at me, so as long as none of you are offended I have no gripe with seeing if muspelhem figures out that I’m just stating an opinion that happens to be contrary to his. Name calling should never have entered into this thread.
again we are arguing about blurry lines.
Stop being a coward and stand by what you’re doing.
No one cares about your van joke. Baselessly calling someone a paedophile is not a mere “difference of opinions”.
dresden i really think we should just leave its obvious we are the only ones talking calmly now.
It is possible to talk calmly and still spew poison.
Ok muspelhem, you brought up “law”.
Perfect. So calm down and let’s talk about law.
In the USA, I haven’t checked every state but I’m willing to bet it’s either 18 or 17 in the OP’s location. And this is important to note: it is illegal for anyone under the age to be photographed in a pornographic/sexual manner.
There are reasons these laws are in place. Any guesses? To safeguard against pedophilia.
While the medical definition of pedophilia may put the cutoff at 14, the law safeguards up to the age of 18. My R Kelly crack wasn’t just a crack. I’m assuming that you would defend R Kelly?
Again, if I haven’t been totally clear here, there is no sarcasm in any of this and no insults intended. I’m just trying to figure out if you really believe these things you’re saying or if you’re just ramped up on rage and arguing blindly. In the USA an adult having sex with a 16 year old is quite illegal. The fact that he’s a married father just makes it even creepier. Do you really defend his behavior?
God your tone is annoying. Also, why even bother? You lazily mix together all sorts of things and label them “paedophilia”.
The age at which someone can legally appear in pornography is independent from the age of consent, and is also 18 in Europe, even though the age of consent is several years lower in most countries there. It’s also just a different issue, there are other considerations, like do you realise the ramifications of what you’re doing, that your face and body will be all over the Internet forever, etc.
But according to you, it’s all about paedophilia (which, for the umpteenth time, is an attraction to prepubescent children).
Then you switch to R. Kelly. Who, apart from inappropriate relationships with very young women (but not with prepubescent ones, right?), also seems to have borderline held women as sex slaves. At least he had mindfucked them pretty thoroughly.
And no, don’t condone R. Kelly’s behavior, in case you were in doubt. But not gonna label it something it technically isn’t, either. And also don’t see why you don’t distinguish between feeling attracted to something and acting on that attraction.
Finally, stop saying “calm down”, stop pretending to be on some innocent quest for the truth when you were the one who started off with the paedophilia accusations, and have been liberally throwing them about ever since.
Ignore Dresden. People like him are fundamentally dishonest, and there’s no point in reasoning with a fundamentally dishonest person. It’s like talking to a donkey that keeps braying “hee haw, hee haw,” because it simply doesn’t have enough mental clarity to think for itself.
Thank you, Teresa’s Child.
Hope Dream Love, I think you’re right.
Sometimes if you bring things to a calmer level, others will follow suit.
Sometimes not.
we can talk on email or something though. ok i shouldnt say “something” i only have email and fb lol
Lol you are so fake, Dresden. It’s pretty amazing.
…said the user named after a war crime. Such a paragon of virtue, you.
You’re virtue signalling so heavily you’ll have Batman landing on your roof soon.
Sounds like a mess, this type of crap has been going on forever, unfortunately there is no end to it, people have to pick on others to set them apart, I’m better than you syndrome, it will never end.
I guess my point is as individuals what’s important is we do the best we can to be fair and understanding and do our best to promote the same, I can’t control what others do or think I can only control myself, and at the end of the day what matters is what kind of person I am and that is what matters to me.
I’m not sure about your situation but once your on your own you will be much happier.
There’s actually a couple different answers. 1) yeah they’re your typical guy looking for something attractive and for some stupid resin that’s what their brain thinks is attractive which would be nice if it wouldn’t because I’m really tired of being hit on and checked out by idiots but I can’t I change it although I wish I could.
And 2) probably the most basic answer that very few will agree with. Love doesn’t understand boundaries. Of course then it’s a case of deciphering between love and lust. Which can be difficult in most if not all cases. But when you’re willing to die for the other I think that says A LOT.
I hoped that help answer your question answering your question “i just cant understand how adults can be attracted to 16-year-olds”
I’ve been tortured and raped for being a lesbian. I don’t think marriage between a woman and a woman is any problem -when- the man and woman who marry in today’s world are quite often intellectually disabled, bad people, pure evil.
Why should it be a problem at least if the two woman can be kind, honest, true
They say not letting homosexuals marry would protect the sanctity of marriage. Heterosexuals marriage is so little sanct. They will be divorced, they will go psycho, they will cheat, and usually never follow any of the higher laws of marriage.
I don’t think to ever be married because a lot of people ruin that for ya .. I guess they do marriage wrong