i cant close my eyes or im too scared, im scared to fall asleep.. and every male thats in my life or that i pass on the street regardless if i know they are good people and wouldnt hurt me i still get so nervous. its hard to admit this but i even got scared around my own father. and i KNOW that he would never ever do such a thing but from the day that i was sexually assaulted i just cant trust anyone. i trust four people that i can be around and not get scared, that is my mum, two of my sisters and my bestest friend. i dont even trust myself because i think about hurting me all the time. i think writing my feelings here are really helping me though. amazing how just doing this has taken the edge off my thoughts and pain.