I’ve been living my life like it wasn’t my own. I was doing things for other people and not for me. For a long time, I was okay with that. With being alive to suit other people’s needs and being alive to suit other people’s wants.
A few months ago, I moved from a small town in Louisiana to a suburb of Seattle. I felt rather happy and I was excited about my new life. I moved at the beginning of June, and if I’m publishing this post after I write it, It will be almost 3 months since I moved.
After these months, two jobs, some spats with my sister (who generously offered her place to me, thank you!!), I can say that, unexpectedly, my mental health is at a standstill. My second job, one at a fast-food restaurant, turned out to be just like my experience with highschool — shitty, filled with irresponsible teenagers that just want to get high, and not worth my time. While I worked, I met a guy that makes me feel all kinds of emotions. Ultimately, the experience with him was shitty, too.
Have you ever watched the show “Hello, My Twenties!” on Netflix? It’s a Korean drama, and I’ve come to respect and want the life of Jin-Myung (only without the death of her brother, please). My current goal is to emulate her life as it was in the first portion of the show — hardworking, responsible, quiet.
Watching this character live and grieve and love was refreshing to me. She worked hard because she had to.
I want to be hardworking like that, too, because I’ve been given everything in life. I want to earn my money. I feel like it would be exactly the thing a rotten, spoiled brat like me needs. I just need a taste of my own medicine.