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apathy and heartbreak.

by ebullientballoon

my sister emailed me today, the first time we’ve talked in almost a year. we didn’t talk for over a year when, last christmas, she came up to me where i was hiding in my room upstairs away from everyone. i told her i didn’t want anything to do with my abusive brother and that i wasn’t going to have anything to do with anyone who didn’t respect that.

in short, she didn’t, and i have just grown used to not talking to any of my four siblings.

so my sister emailed me today, and i am going to just ignore it. i brought it up to my parents, asking them to not tell my siblings my business or what’s going on with my life, and i think i broke my moms heart.  when i told her i don’t care to have my siblings in my life, i don’t think i’ve ever seen anyone’s face look quite like that.

the world will rejoice when i am dead.


i really don’t see any way past these issues other than death.  my mental illnesses preclude any kind of long term functional independence let alone financial independence. i am a cyst on god’s balls waiting to be popped.  i am a rat in the walls with nowhere to run but into the cat’s claws.  i am a sad facsimile of personhood.


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Cause of Death: Suicide 9/23/2019 - 11:11 am

This is a funny post. I hate my siblings. Well, I haven’t wasted a second of my life with them.. I don’t even think they are worth hate or a msg on this forum. Just terrible.. white trash. I’ve always been ashamed to be from such a terrible unintelligent group of ugly

Cause of Death: Suicide 9/23/2019 - 11:13 am

I’m even more so ashamed because I was supposed to be dead already 7 years ago, but the retarded pricks forced me to stay alive so they could sexually abuse me 5 years later.

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