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by Wisp

not suicide related

I really like my boyfriend alot. But I notice the emptyness and darkness in his eyes and soul… always have, really…
He’s pretty overwhelming but he’s not boring lol.
I feel like a burden to him but he doesn’t want to hear it. He’s very agile and flexible (I’m not agile or flexible at all), I have bad gum disease and I get blood on the sheets and pillows, not even my mum gets blood all over pillows and sheets and she’s 66 or something… so I feel disgusting as well and I’m sorry he even has to put up with that. He told me that I need to get this fixed sometime…
He can talk about his ex with a straight face without being emotional… although he did wonder why I was asking questions about her… then he goes on to reassure me that I am his girlfriend now.
I remember he was at his parent’s house one time, we were staying there, everyone else was smiling and happy pretty much (including me, lol), but he was being all serious, when we went to leave, his brother touched his head and he asked his brother not to touch him. His mum gave me a hug as we left.
They are very inviting whenever my boyfriend visits his parents (he normally lives with them but we are staying with each other for now somewhere else)
They (his parents) always ask me if I’m hungry and sometimes they invite me to conversations and stuff that they do (karaoke for one, lol)

I wonder if there’s something about him that his parents know that I don’t? Is there a subtle hint lurking around somewhere? I myself are pretty cautious about them, but at the same time, generally friendly… they are very nice people I can’t lie lol. Man I’d kill to have parents like that, oh well…


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Ennui 9/1/2019 - 2:47 pm

I’m confused, do you suspect something about your bf?

Hope Dream Love 9/1/2019 - 3:04 pm

Well the way he was acting does seem a bit wierd. But I don’t see anything it could possibly be. but it’s obvious they are concerned about something and he doesn’t want it. “his brother touched his head and he asked his brother not to touch him.”

Ennui 9/1/2019 - 3:08 pm

ok, like maybe he just found his brother annoying, I don’t see how that’s shady

Hope Dream Love 9/1/2019 - 3:15 pm

The way it’s worded…no. it seemed more like a caring touch. Now if it was worded “his brother ruffled his hair and he asked him to stop” then yes. But touched his head and don’t touch me…..mmmmm it might still be just that but idk I wasn’t there

Ennui 9/1/2019 - 3:28 pm

if you say so haha

mayhem1 9/1/2019 - 6:58 pm

i don’t think there’s anything weird about that. i hate it when random people or my family members touch me even if they’re being friendly.
probably stems from my dad being violent when i was a kid but anyway.

it sounds like you aren’t really sure about your boyfriend. the thing is, everybody has secrets or things about them that other people might find unappealing. you might never know all his secrets but if he isn’t a criminal and treats you well then it doesn’t matter.

if you don’t feel like he’s who you want to be with though, you could break up at some point, but i wouldn’t suggest going “digging” into his past to find a reason.

he probably isn’t doing that well if he still lives with his parents, so that could be the subconscious reason why you don’t want to be with him. he isn’t showing you that he is a reliable provider.

it’s up to you. you can accept that he has faults just like everyone else, or you can come to the conclusion that he isn’t really benefiting you and part ways.

rocketman 9/2/2019 - 4:36 am

Sorry about your gums I just remembered you brought that up years ago, I don’t have bleeding but I need deep cleanings those are a lot of fun. I’m going tomorrow to a dental college they will do it for $100 the dentist wants $1200 , I will take a bunch of Vicodin, I’m screwed! 🙂 I just sit there and say to myself yeah make it hurt! And don’t get offended when I call you names it’s nothing personal. 🙂

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