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Deeper down into the darkness…

by Causeofdeath_suicide_

Just when I think that things cant get any worse in my life, they do.
People keep getting in my way of my happiness.
The people I called “friends” backstab me, talk about me behind my back, and turn on me like they’ve never cared in the first place..
People hate me for things I don’t even do wrong.
I’m so lost inside myself, and my life..
I was clean for about 8 months, before I fell so far into the darkness and couldn’t handle it anymore that I managed to slip my way back into cutting again.. It’s not something I’m proud of, but recently it seems like the only thing I have left that can connect me to my humanity… Without it, it just feels like everything around me seems worse than it really is.. It keeps me in tact. Keeps me being able to think clearly, keeps the mental breakdowns to a low… And keeps me connected with the humanity that’s left inside of me…
People hate me for just simply being alive… Why do i even bother staying alive, if my pure existence is just a problem for people.
And my only happy place, the only place that makes me truly happy, the only state, I cant even get to without the help of someone else…
These are the times where I wish I had more friends…
Things aren’t going to get any better…
Thing’s just keep getting worse and worse for me..

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