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How to forgive myself

by PatheticMale

I dont need to forgive.. It would be just enough to just be able to forget… Forget everything and start from scratch. I want to forget how lazy I was all my life. I was so lazy I just let all my weed plants die and now I will have nothing to smoke this year. Maybe its a good thing. But Im addicted and  I will buy it anyway. So my laziness will only cost me a lot of money. A ton of money just coz it was too much work to water a fking plant once a day. Id love to forget that.

But mainly I would like to forget all the cringe. Especially the cringy things that I said to my “ex” (she is not my ex rly, we didnt have a relationship but idk what else to call her). These cringe moments just haunt me. I cant get them away from my mind. I started drinking a lot. I never used to drink alone before. I dont even like it but its just something to do (since I dont have weed). The worst part is I cant cant have a good sleep when I go to bed drunk. It feels like Im waking up every 5 minutes.

I just want to forget who I am and have a 2nd try in life. If I just fell on my head and had amnesia or smth.

 

 

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4 comments

Cause of Death: Suicide 9/13/2019 - 12:27 am

i just hope to maybe change my name, leave my home, disappear and never make human contact again.. either that or commit… it doesnt make much difference to me..

Cause of Death: Suicide 9/13/2019 - 10:05 am

Ive started smashing my head on concrete, I hoped that would help me forget. Especially all the really bad things like being r*ped as a 9 year old girl

rocketman 9/13/2019 - 3:42 pm

You don’t want to forget you want to remember so you don’t do it again next time.

Ronin no seppuku 9/14/2019 - 1:20 am

man, shit ain’t that simple. you mean to tell me you don’t have shit that you wish you could forget; shit that fucked you up through no fault of your own? How the fuck would remembering shit like that, shit that OP might have had no control over teach them “not to do it again next time?”

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