I envy people who are dying with cancer. I wish i could just go to bed and wake up the next day with cancer. Then I don’t have to cope up with this bullsh*t of a life anymore.
I was strong, i was brilliant. Now i am a failure. I have a degree, i am certified to do my job, i had a high-paying job but I was unsatisfied with the salary. Greed. I quit that job and i started my own business and failed. It hasn’t been going really well now. With the cash I have invested in the business i can last at most a year (rent, bills etc). Then i am just a piece of trash in the community.
None of the pain is real until you wake up and are faced with the reality of life. Bills. Pay bills. Put food on plate. Find a place. THIS is the real life. I am 24 years old. The pain I felt when i was younger was NOTHING compared to this, this feeling of failure. So if you are 15 years old struggling with depression or you hate your parents, just do it and take your life while you can because when you get older you will face bigger things. F*ck it! When you are 13 or 15 you still have hope. You have time. You can change. If you want to charge forward then do it. If you don’t want to then just end it! “This world is a filthy place. It’s a filthy goddamn horror show.” – Tate Langdon.