I’ve never been in legal trouble my entire life. I got a dui a while ago and was given unsupervised probation with community service, therapy, and SATOP class. My court date is October 10th. Due to some scheduling issues I wont be able to complete SATOP before the court date so unless I can postpone the date I’m most likely going to jail. I’m 26, 3.8 university gpa for computer science, fun and well paying job, but I can’t handle going to jail. I refuse. I’ve ordered 99.99% helium and all the supplies I need and I’m expecting it in a few days. I’m only calm now because I know (hoping) that this method will be painless. I feel like nothing I’ve done in my life matters now and it was all for nothing. I’ve completed every condition of probation on time except the class. It’s all been for nothing. Everything will go down the drain so I’m getting out. I’m going to do it on October 1st. No one even knows about the dui or everything I’ve been doing. I’ve concealed all of it. I wish I could do something but I don’t think I can so I’ll do this instead. I don’t really know why I’m writing this now but I had to tell somebody. I’m going to starve myself for several days so I don’t void my bowels after death. I’ll be leaving a very basic note only detailing who will get my stuff. I really hope this will be a peaceful way to go because I have no other way. I wish it didn’t have to be this way. I just want to stay with my family and live my life. I’m going to visit all of them and pretend everything is normal so I can say goodbye. I was looking forward to see how my life on my current path would turn out but not anymore.. I felt fine but writing this is making me cry. I just had to tell someone.