There really is no point is there? Ten years ago after a suicide attempt they let me go because it was deemed a cry for help. But they don’t give any help? So here I still am, wanting to die. Get sober, give up weed. Return to religion. Try and be a good person. Volunteer. Take care of sick husband. Pray often. Pray for others. Stay sober. Eat healthy. Exercise. What does any of it achieve? Where is Jesus? Where is God? Here I am again, crying my heart out, punching myself, hating myself, wanting to die. Where’s my son, family, friends? My husband hates me. I hate me.
There really isn’t anything now is there? Still too damn lame to kill myself though.