“Fuck off; go fucking die; crazy kid.”
I’ve been told these things by a family member yesterday, undeservedly so.
She knows nothing about me, but it hurt, a lot.
I still feel the same as I did when I first heard this song 15 years ago.
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14 comments
It was designed to hurt you, you are stronger than that! sticks and stones! sticks and stones! Laugh it off 🙂
She was angry for no good reason, and she took it out on me.
I would laugh it off had it been a total stranger but this was someone who was there to comfort me at my grandfather’s funeral. And last month on FB she posted about how much she “loved” her niece yet she goes and tells me to die without even knowing I get suicidal and struggle with depression.
It’s all so stupid…
it is sorry but still don’t let people stupid out burst effect you that much, you don’t need to concentrate on that, write it off. People don’t know what they are doing.
It bothered me because for once I had been doing so well then she came along and pushed me back down into a hole.
“comfort me at my grandfather’s funeral” is that when she said it? Maybe she was just emotional at the time.
I’m definitely not saying it’s right or to give her an excuse just give you a reason so it’s easier then you can say “well yeah…”
No, the funeral was back in May.
My aunt is 49 years old yet her behavior is a typical example of immaturity. If anyone’s crazy, it’s her.
I’ll chalk it up as her finally revealing her true colors. She pretends to be a saint in public but on the inside, she’s a rotten human being. I don’t ever want to be around her again.
I see a lot of these scenarios. I’ve learned the term family is open, like you said, she knows nothing about you. I don’t find that exactly fitting a definition of family, so herein you have no ties other than biological. Even if she is hateful to you, there is family out there for you personally – and it doesn’t need to be biological. Perhaps, your only tie is the 1/24 – 1/8 % genes that you share. To some, this webpage, can be therapeutic – like a family of sorts
Yeah, we’re not exactly close; I only had fond memories of her from my childhood. We’ve never had problems with each other so I didn’t expect her to treat me like that.
I know it hurts a lot more when it’s a family member, even if they don’t know anything. You can get through it!
Thanks. I’ll get over it eventually. But I will not forgive her.
Yep, never been big on forgiveness myself.
I can’t imagine anyone on this site that has not experienced emotional abuse from a family member and it always aches like nothing else could. Because we are naturally inclined to stay in close relationship to family members, sometimes as if our very lives depended on it, or at least we would really like support from that relationship, and sometimes these family members are not able to live up to even the most basic of our expectations, like being at least decent toward us, we can really get our trust violated. Ouch ouch. Hurts and hurts sometimes.
My trust in family members is usually honored but when it has been violated I ached and ached and forgiveness was slow in coming and in some cases I have had to set and keep strong boundaries with some of them to protect myself because these folks will surely violate again and again, given the opportunity.
How’d you manage to forgive them though?
Your question may be better than my answer. Here is some of how it eventually took place. It was a process. Some of it was taking into account how they got to be such bad actors. Knowing something about how they got to be so mean meant an empathy (?) of sorts . Some of it was just not wanting to carry all the anger. Some of it was realizing that I would be putting in place boundaries to prevent or at least greatly lessen future damage. And I am not gonna lie, I had to have some help and guidance from my therapist in the process.
In summary, it was not so much a decision to forgive as it was an effort to go about forgiveness. Also, it is an on going effort. Somehow, it is worthwhile.