Relationship

I didnt just fall. I came crashing down like a house of cards. Like a brick being dropped from the 50th floor. He was the only one i was ever my true self around. He brought out the me i had hidden away for years. When i cry hes always right there to wipe the tears away. When im cold hes always right there to warm me up. I couldnt have ask for a better husband. But…..things still dont seem to be right.
I would die away from him. Around him im annoyed. Some of the things he does…..ugh. its so confusing. Reading page after page of toxic relationships, true love, its not working out, and basically everything of the sort and somehow i match both. I love him and i dont i guess. I have no idea. Im at a conplete loss at this point i wouldnt mind taking a week or so away. Maybe go up to my grandfathers. Just long enough to be away from everything. Get my thoughts straightened out. But i cant. Were still in the middle of moving i cant just leave him with all of that. It would be cruel. And he cant do our job by himself. He doesnt know my routes. And even if he did he would be all day completeing it. Even with me it takes until about lunch time and we start around 3-4am. I cant do that to him. Looks like im stuck and i think thats making me more depressed then the rest of the problem. Of course the confusion isnt helping thats for sure but the inablility to figure it out is just…ahhhhhh!
“Why dont you talk to him about it?” For 1 i dont really remember all the problems i have. 2 he is trying. 3 sometimes when we talk it causes arguments because of a misunderstanding or i get excited about something and my voice starts to raise even though i dont mean for it too. And yes ive tried not to. Like really really tried and i just cant not raise my voice. But i cant expect him to be completely perfect either, can i?