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Spiraling again

by outinthedark

I’m falling down so hard this week. I just keep spiraling. Every day starts out good then something just makes it bad. Running late to work, my hair not turning out, my boyfriend saying no when I wanted to make him cookies. Each one of those stupid silly things has made me crumble and fall so easily. I just don’t know what to do anymore. The smallest things have me falling and breaking. I’ve wanted to cut so bad this week but I just can’t. I want to let the pain out so bad but I know if I do and my boyfriend sees it he just won’t understand. He’s starting to be part of the problem. I’m breaking more and more and I’m trying so hard to keep it to myself cuz I hate putting this on others. But when I reach out, when I tell him what’s wrong he just tells me not to worry, that it’s a stupid problem and it’s not a big deal. But here I am laying in bed, not being able to do anything. I have laundry that’s been sitting wet in the washer for hours. I can’t even finish a show or play a game I like. It’s just too much and I’m stressed and I just want to sink into my bed and stop existing. I just want everything to end. I have no future. I can’t even sign up for college classes. I want to quit my job that I actually enjoy because it’s hard to get out of my bed just to go. I don’t know what to do anymore sometimes. I feel completely alone in a house full of people.

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Stop1t 9/1/2019 - 11:22 pm

In my opinion you should tell your boyfriend what you just wrote. I believe, that he will try to understand you better. I don’t know your Bf, so i can not really tell if he will be a big help. If you decide that you can not talk to him, go to your best friend. I asume that they would want you to tell them. Maybe you also need someone to feel the same?

Ennui 9/2/2019 - 5:28 am

Sorry that you’re under so much stress currently. This might sound like a weird suggestion, but maybe focus on being more selfish. Sometimes, one’s stress and frustration stems from constantly trying to be good enough for others. Sorry if this is terrible advice lol.

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