I am thinking a lot about Death. I want it, but I am more passionate about Love. I would set myself Alive for Love, I would make my Wish to Die true by dying in accompany of those who I love and I could finally stop all my Lifestyle that is bad for my Life.
On the other Side, I could live on with my Lifestyle, doing this with my beloved ones, not in Direction to Die from, but with the Perspective of enlightment, to have occupations of Truth to found on, to enjoy being alive and to have the Thrill of doing wrong to Law.
I want to met her in Tel Aviv and return. But If I fail to meet her, I will become a Piece of Nightmare. Stealing Gun’s and Cars, getting by though it all barely alive. Killing and Hiding. Truth will probably be more like getting jailed, being relocated to where I was. Being attacked for the Violence and Crimes I did. Losing all I belong and had taken by my Side.
I am so Sad, but I think, Israel and Syria are decent to have myself shot to Death.
4 comments
Are you okay? I know most of your posts are weird, but this one is darker then usual…
I am Fine I assume, but my respect to many things is just entirely gone. I lost trust in so many things People believe into, I can not listen to many Human furthermore because they have had lost the track of Time and of the World for Adultery and believe what they have archived is won.
I striked down my usage of many social Networks, many of my Devices, expenses for worthless things, connections to People who did not mean a thing, all in a rage that nothing and no one does give me the Love I am looking forward to as Essence that makes us Human and sustain Time and Tragedy.
I said to the Psychiatry after some Devices of me got stolen that I can go along with Killing others, but would not as I want to do no Harm. So, suddenly, what that is sane dear World, this is my Way.
I have an idea for you. If you have really been to Israel and you also like Syria while you may also hate dogma, especially the Christian dogma, why don’t you go to Egypt?
“I am so Sad, but I think, Israel and Syria are decent to have myself shot to Death.”
No, Egypt is more decent.
I haven’t had collected enough Data about Egypt to have had made it into my decision. The Point is, I want to feel a pure hate, I want to have the change through my Path and I want to be able to get certain kinds of Weapons or to join Forces who are willing to make a good exchange for my ID.
All I was living for was the good and I am fed up by it. I do not need a Fuck, do not need to make a Scene, want to have all the Spotlight on me or fill myself with Drugs till they are nothing more than Adult Swimming. I am in Love, few of them are within my Heart for almost a decade, and that is happening very rarely. The last Time, I was able to make the mistrust clear on myself, this Time, I am fine to admit that I am better off Death before accepting a perfect World with Humans of no Regret.
I can not get the Weapons in my Hand when I am in Egypt, I won’t be in any War and I would have full coverage of the State to be relocated Home alongside being unable to be free’d if I land in an Egypt Jail.
I could need a change in the World, I could need the prejudices and the expectations to not be drawn in before, but the Way it is, my Route will be Tel Aviv – Jerusalem – Amman – Damaskus – (Beirut) – (Homs) Idlib – Aleppo, and from there the Spoils of War or to Gazianantep, depends on if I have again buried my feelings, died, or am ready for other 3 years of loving pain.