When did it become all about money? When did it become all about getting laid? Or even relationships…or politics? Or being politically correct? When did it become all about fitting in? Wearing a mask so people would leave you alone?
Was it when I started hating people?
Was it when I gave up on others? Or was it when I gave up on myself? Was it the first time I failed? Was it the time I let others down, even after forming that meaningful connection? Was it when I stopped trusting myself?
I gave up on those feelings I had felt when I was young.
I wanted to be a hero. I wanted to be really cool. I wanted to help people, and be relied on. I wanted to laugh the loudest, be the smartest, the strongest, the most courageous.
But I lost it all. I was broken. I failed to help others…no, I abandoned them.
Ever since then I’ve fallen into this trap, this cycle of desire and pleasure, living like a hungry ghost in a world of wallflowers.
But I’m starting to remember. I have one life. And I’m not going to live all that long. I need to live with some heart. I need to break this cycle.