Generalso close by DOA 10/18/2019 written by DOA 10/18/2019i almost lost a friend to suicide. it has changed my view now knowing how much fear and pain runs through you in the situation i was going to put my loved ones through. 1 comment 2EmailRelated postsGhosts 4/8/2020Washing it Away 4/7/2020It’s been a while :3 4/7/2020Toxic Quarantine 4/7/2020Sober: day 2 4/7/2020Decisions decisions…….. 4/7/2020Secrets 4/6/2020academics ruin me 4/6/2020I’m back… Yet again 4/6/2020ordinary 4/6/20201 comment a1957 10/19/2019 - 1:39 pmSame here. I wished my passing would hurt no one . At one time I was convinced it could not possibly affect anyone adversely. I was close to departure when several family members and law enforcement intervened. I then found out I was considered important to some people. I thought they were selfish but selfish or not they were utterly insistent I find I way forward and became as supportive as they could be. There was something genuine about their insistence. In my pain I just wanted to go. In their pain they just wanted me to stay. I hate to admit it but I like the challenge going forward represents. I do like more about my life now than I ever did before. Sometimes I still wish I could go without impacting anyone but that would only be wishful thinking. Yes, the pain they felt and the fear they felt was profound and still they feel it and still they fear it. I guess just for that reason alone I need to keep healing. I built relationships with them prior to the planned departure time so I guess I owe it to them to keep healing but ironically only to die at some later time from some respectable reason. Not easy, but all bad either. Log in to Reply Leave a Comment Cancel ReplyYou must be logged in to post a comment.Subscribe to comments: Don't subscribeAllReplies to my comments Notify me of followup comments via e-mail. You can also subscribe without commenting.