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Too much bullshit.

by imissyou

So there is someone with a 5 year restraining order against me, and it makes me want to kill myself.

It was served on me while I was in jail in solitary confinement for allegedly harassing her. It was originally only temporary at that point in time, but I ended up accepting a plea deal understanding it would be extended for one year. Then she asked for a 5 year extension. I didn’t know what to do.

My attorney was recently investigated because I took the plea deal under false pretenses. I’ve been trying to find a new attorney to see what can be done, but I keep getting the run around.

The RO expires in less than a year, and at this point I would like it to be a lifetime restraining order. I tried to kill myself in jail, and have been hospitalized once every year since then for various mental health problems.

I didn’t know how she felt, and she hasn’t talked to me in over 5 years. I used to really like her, but she was my supervisor at a job that I had. Our coworkers have mostly sided with her, and I am even banned from a property over it.

Part of my wants the RO to be for a lifetime, so that if I violate it, I can just kill myself in jail.

11 comments
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11 comments

darkwillow 10/30/2019 - 4:04 am

I’m a bit confused about this. Why not just stay away from them? Move on with your life. What about the restraining order makes you want to die?

imissyou 10/30/2019 - 8:29 pm

I do stay away from them, and I have been trying to move on with my life unsuccessfully. I spent 25 days in solitary confinement, and it destroyed me mentally. I had erotomania with regards to this person as a means to cope during that period of time and because she never told me she hated me. It was all an indirect guessing game centered around her feelings. Part of me wants closure, but I don’t think that is something that I will ever get.

The RO is regressive. It was initially served on me in solitary confinement. I spent weeks wondering what I did wrong in the relationship. I still don’t know. I don’t know how she got it. I don’t know why she wanted a 5 year extension, and I don’t know why she accused me of abusing her. We had kind of been friends until I told her I had feelings for her. Then she stopped talking to me.

Teresa's Child 10/30/2019 - 11:42 am

Agreed…it seems like you’re the problem here. Just stay away from this person. Get a bodycam to stay safe in case she approaches you or calls you out under false charges, but other then that just stay away.

imissyou 10/30/2019 - 8:36 pm

That’s the thing. She’s already gotten away with pressing false charges. I got accused of harassing her. I called her place of employment (which was where we both used to work together) once and asked how she was, and if I could speak with her since she was in the country. The next thing I know I’m getting threatening phone calls from law enforcement officers. I didn’t know if they were legitimate and didn’t immediately make the connection that my former employer had given my phone number to them.

I showed up on a weekend to speak with someone from the organization because the threatening phone calls were bothering me. Instead of being asked to leave, they called the cops and I was arrested.

Years later and there are still people that I consider to be good people that straight up won’t even acknowledge that I exist. Peer rejection hurts.

Teresa's Child 10/30/2019 - 11:02 pm

I mean…I kind of empathize, in the sense that there’s a lot of gender discrimination against boys/men by law enforcement. At the same time, there are two sides to any story. Why did she press false charges? Also, calling someone’s place of employment (in the US) is usually not appropriate, so that’s a red flag for me as well.

I guess, are you sure this is all a one-sided thing where you’re the victim? Are you completely, positively, absolutely sure? And if so, how do you explain her actions?

ElElyon 10/31/2019 - 7:44 am

Would you even dare to ask such direct, hurtful questions if you were talking to a woman who said similar things? I think not, and that’s a huge part of the problem. The way I see it, you’ve told a broken person, “I think YOU’RE at fault, and the woman who is trying to ruin your life is justified in taking your life: She HAS to be.” It makes me sick to my stomach, especially in a place like this.

imissyou 11/1/2019 - 7:28 pm

I can’t explain her actions. I’ve wondered why she did what she did for years. I’m guessing my ex girlfriend had something to do with it. I don’t know. And yes, there are two sides to every story. From what I’ve heard about it, “people were worrying about safety.”
I’m pretty sure I was stereotyped for having a serious mental illness. I didn’t threaten anyone, and I didn’t do anything that should’ve caused a reasonable person to call the police. I was threatened multiple times by law enforcement.
Also, how is that a red flag? I don’t think that calling someone at work is necessarily a red flag depending on the purpose of the call.
Also, I’m not a cisgender person…..
I hate how you are implying that I’m not a victim. Solitary confinement over 15 days (I did 25 btw) is considered by the United Nations to be torture. It is painful in every sense of the word. I hate how you are doubting me about that. Like judge me if you’ve been there, but otherwise don’t doubt my suffering.

Cause of Death: Suicide 10/30/2019 - 5:24 pm

I think people who force jail on someone are over reactive and malicious. It’s not your fault. I’m dealing with the same thing. I was planning since 2006 to kill myself in 2012 (as soon as I could) then I started getting forced into jail, raped, and beaten. (I don’t even know who by) but almost everyone I knew 7-10 years ago has raped me. Sometimes I think the government WANTS to kill these people, (like Nazis and the Jews) but I am not sure. (Especially because I’m a homosexual) It’s not like you have to see her ever again. From my perspective, you can’t do anything about the fact that these people are obsessed with you. But, then again, I don’t even know which of those people reported me!!

Actually in my case if you would let me share. My first time being arrested was called in a few days after this big girl punched me as hard as she could in the face (because I wouldn’t buy her a taco.) three days later, I presume she called the cops on me and reported me as being drunk driving. (I would have never drove drunk but she forced me too many many times in a row that year.) That was three years ago. Just last week, I heard her brother murdered someone by first, punching him in the face and then stomping his head against the ground.. just completely out of the blue.

Now I am about 7 arrests in and 15,000$ down the drain because of this ..murderer.. Wow.

imissyou 10/30/2019 - 8:43 pm

Thanks for sharing!

I don’t think they are obsessed with me. I genuinely think that they don’t give a single fuck about treating other people like complete shit, which is annoying.

My lawyer told me that my intentions were irrelevant and all that mattered were her feelings. Like trying to kill myself in jail didn’t matter. I should’ve taken the RO they served on me and written a suicide note on the back and just ended it.

I’m transgender and have mental health issues, and I’ve always wondered if things do get better…..they don’t.

I’m at 4 arrests.

Cause of Death: Suicide 10/30/2019 - 8:59 pm

Well then it obvious that if you were indeed no threat to her, that your whole case is just a hate crime!!! I’m not technically a transgender but I am a lesbian and get taken for a man. I have been raped 177 times since that incident in 2016.. no joke. I already chose suicide and was supposed to have shot myself (planned this perfectly over the decade) in 2012. I am basically only alive to be their punching bag, and hostage. I don’t even want to be alive today, I was all set and ready to die in 2012 and serve zero furthermore purpose. They also told me once that God had asked them to murder all homosexuals. Now I basically worry that I will be murdered by the police or something when I know I should have just killed myself in 2012. I really don’t want to be raped or murdered, but I would love to kill myself as I had planned.

Cause of Death: Suicide 10/30/2019 - 9:05 pm

How would you even kill your self in jail? I was so upset I was jailed before I got the chance to shoot myself (shotgun to head is method of choice, painless and quick) that I tried to kill myself in jail by blunt force trauma. They took off all my clothes and put me in a straightjacket and another time they put me in a body bag and took a picture, so I smashed my head against the concrete wall as hard as I could, I fractured my skull but I didn’t die. I honestly should not still be alive today. I honestly should have been dead since 2012. I am being forced to stay alive against my will (by complete strangers)

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