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A December suicide?

by Rainwatch

Did you ever notice how there is never a right time to take your life? There’s always a family occasion, celebration or anniversary, and now with Christmas just around the corner the timing for my suicide couldn’t be worse. I don’t think I can hang on until January. Christmas brings out the worst in suicidal people, it highlights the abnormality of your life compared to the normality of everybody else. One thing I refuse to be is the guy who took his life without giving his family adequate warning. I’ve actually asked for my family’s permission to end my life so there will be no agonizing what if questions after im gone. My family didn’t go for it so I’ll have to take my life regardless. It’s really just a question of timing, it would be wrong to suicide in December because of the holidays but January seems like a long way off. All I have to do is drive to the mountains with a hose in my car, it will be quite easy, but this is the worst time of the year for a family to get such tragic news so I’m stuck for the time being.


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Cause of Death: Suicide 11/29/2019 - 10:25 am

I’ve never had a family.
So all you do is just take the hose and put it from the exhaust into the car? That sounds like a great idea. If you do have family they would probably get you put in the mental hospital, lol, that is if they are creeping on you. A few months isn’t a long wait though, I’ve been waiting 15 years to commit. The first 8 years, I was underage and didn’t know how to commit without a gun. And when I became of age, I didn’t have enough money to buy a gun. I was dirt poor until 2 years ago. I did however find a way to buy a gun, but these f*cking creepers followed me and stole it. I’ve been ready to commit for at least the last 15 years. I’ve never had any reason to be alive and was molested a lot as a small child. And I don’t know why, but I started being raped as a young woman 3-4 years ago. Being that, I don’t and have never had any family or friends, I am free to commit whenever I want which is nice. But now that I do have a job and am pulling in some money, I decided I would stay a little tiny bit longer because maybe I’ll go on vacation. Otherwise, I’m as good as dead and will openly admit, I wish I would have killed my self when I was a teenager. Would have saved me from all this adult rape and from living those horrible years of my life.

Rainwatch 11/29/2019 - 10:38 am

The mental hospital was mentioned, but you come out worse than when you went in, that’s the reality. I know my suicide will absolutely destroy my family that’s why I’m trapped. Yeah the hose from the exhaust into the car will certainly do the trick. If you’re working at the moment why not use the money accumulated to buy another gun? I live in Ireland so the firearm avenue is off the menu but suicide by gun would be my first choice.

a1957 11/29/2019 - 12:25 pm

Hard to imagine any lasting good coming from one of those places. Very iffy. The drugs practically guarantee long term damage.

Like yourself, family is why I am still here. Not my family of origin, so much, but rather the larger one I married into. Slowly, so slowly, I see staying alive as less of a trap and more of as their legitimate needs (some of which I can help with). Their legitimate needs are the result of their parental unit(s) incredible shortsightedness.

Cause of Death: Suicide 11/29/2019 - 7:43 pm

Why would you not come out worse? It’s just the uneducated dumb folks easy way to get easy money by using people, that’s all anything is. Dumb folks trying to get lots of money by doing the bare minimum

a1957 11/29/2019 - 12:08 pm

Just a heads up to the poster. Far less that 1 percent of US cars (not sure where you live) are producing a real kick of the poisons you might think they are. Thank you EPA? Idk. Be ready for a nasty headache though.

Rainwatch 11/29/2019 - 12:38 pm

You’re correct, they do say older cars are more lethal, mine is a 2014 hybrid so I’m a bit worried will it do the job effectively.

Once 11/29/2019 - 12:38 pm

I’m no professional, but it seems as though many suicides come as a complete surprise to those left behind – family and friends left stunned, having had “No idea at all” because they thought so and so was doing ok.

I don’t doubt your desire to end things, but from reading this it seems that, for several reasons, you’re just not ready. Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

When the time is right, there will be no relevant barrier keeping one from acting. None.

And yes, I agree with a1957, asphyxiation by engine nowadays isn’t as easy as it was years ago. Engines run cleaner now and you might not have success this way.

Rainwatch 11/29/2019 - 12:42 pm

Thanks Once. The effectiveness of this method is what worries me, catalytic converters have played havoc with the carbon monoxide concentration levels and my car is a 2014. It may not produce enough of what is required.

a1957 11/29/2019 - 1:39 pm

I used to read those suicide “survivor” stories. They always threw in the surprise part. Funny thing (not funny ha ha) is that I have been acquainted with several suicides and I was not in the least surprised when I heard they had done the deed.

Then I read the book “The History of a Suicide”. It was an investigation into why a young lady named Kim offed herself. Family was surprised when Kim offed herself. I saw no reason to view it as a surprise. The family seemed to just assume life is what everyone does.

So I guess the vast majority of people will adapt to, overcome, or just accept whatever misery comes their way. From what I see of the lives of most people they have a lot of misery to accept, overcome, or adapt to. I am incredulous at the sheer number of people who don’t off themselves.

Cause of Death: Suicide 11/29/2019 - 7:46 pm

Her family seem like empty shells, I’ll bet she didn’t even consider them ‘family.’

Morella 11/29/2019 - 6:08 pm

At the risk of overstating the obvious… Suicide devastates loved ones whether is December or January or Christmas or National Pancake Day. What’s the real reason why you’re hesitating?

infinitetears 11/30/2019 - 2:20 am

I’ve thought about commiting suicide this past Halloween. It was a full moon and I thought maybe if I hung myself in the woods all creepy like people might think it’s haunted on Halloween. But they already know me as insane…so I doubt I could even haunt properly. Not like this society is even cool enough to believe in things like that. Now that the moment is past I feel your sentiment on not making Christmas terrible for everyone forever. I hear people can freeze to death fairly easily…I could just get myself lost out in the wilderness and never return.

Rainwatch 11/30/2019 - 8:40 am

Yeah you got the sentiment, if I take my life in the run up to Christmas it’s forever ruined for my family, like Halloween would be for yours if u went ahead with the plan.

Ben777 12/1/2019 - 12:28 am

I don’t know, this method would be great 30 years ago. Unless your car is 30 years old!

Funny that the more u wanna die, the harder it seems to get it .done. Every method has a flaw.

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