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by rivets

So I’m a little drunk. Bite me. I’ll probably regret typing the things in my brain when the buzz wears off. Go figure, that’s life I guess.

Have you ever thought about the expectations people have for you? At work – they expect you’ll want to be a good employee, to fit the mold for a leadership position, because who doesn’t want that? That you’ll want to advance your career, such as it is, and take on more responsibility. Or at home – that you’ll want to start a family, have kids, a wife (or husband), a house and maybe 1.5 dogs. I don’t know what people like these days. Maybe it’s 2 pitt bulls and a chihuahua now. What if you don’t care about any of that and only go to work because you need a paycheck to pay the bills, and no other concerns encroach upon your conscious mind? What if the idea of having kids and a family and all those annoying dogs seems more like a second job than a blessing? I have three cats, that’s more than enough chaos to call a life. If you express those thoughts in polite company, everybody will look at you like you’re an alien from Mars working a human job for human people, and clearly you’re supposed to be farming Martian gourds or something. How do you deal with that except to reject outright all of the stupid things people seem to find meaningful? Which includes, of course, the people themselves for finding those things meaningful. Is it possible to live in society with a different set of values without having this kind of awkward conflict? I haven’t been able to find a way to balance it except by getting really drunk after work. And so, check, really drunk after work. Is it okay to go on like this indefinitely? Why is life so stupidly full of conflict? Maybe people will never know the answer to that question. Until then, there’s always hard liquor and other booze to help ease the troubled minds among us.


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arachnophilia 11/7/2019 - 8:54 am

It’s hard being in that kind of boat by yourself. A coworker of mine was telling me today how angry she was over how her long-distance boyfriend dumped her because he felt stress about getting married in the next year and he wanted to instead take a three year break so he could go to graduate school for a promotion at he bank. And I was nodding along and trying to say the right things, but the whole situation is so alien to me, why they care so much about ANY of those things. Because I don’t, and never have. I don’t have the advantage of being able to drink to ease my mind (most of the time alcohol does nothing for me) but I have learned over time that there are at least a few people out there you can be a little weird with, who also don’t really care for those things either. Besides that, I think it helps to have one other kind of ambition that you’re working on. Though, when anhedonia is a ***** that’s a bit of a tall order.

shatterediris 11/7/2019 - 11:07 am

I find that a weird thing to break up over…. And an even weirder thing to be upset about the person breaking up with you over. I would be kind of happy about it I imagine because the person would be doing something that they clearly want to do, although I would probably question why they would want to terminate the existing relationship too…. I’m sorry for commenting on this, I just find this scenario very confusing. Not that I have really any experience with dating, so maybe it’s just draining and time consuming?

rivets 11/7/2019 - 4:33 pm

That sounds like how I would have done it about five years ago. Smile politely, impersonate another person in that situation and answer how they probably would answer, given a set of ethical concerns that are totally alien and seem spurious. But it’s the socially expected thing. Now, I’ve gotten a bit too worn thin by it all. My responses are usually, “Uh, why? Why is any of that a thing in the first place?”

I hope and pray that one day all of this comes crashing down and burns into ashes. We’re all products of nature, and none of this seems natural at all.

Once 11/7/2019 - 9:25 am

“Is it possible to live in society with a different set of values without having this kind of awkward conflict? ”

Nope. It’s a “conform or be cast out” society, to quote Rush. Being different in a different kind of way will not be tolerated.

shatterediris 11/7/2019 - 11:04 am

I don’t think most people find it weird to not want to advance a career, and not want a family…. At least with people around my age that seems to be the norm, at least with the people I’ve met. Although maybe that’s just due to realizing that those things are unobtainable and they want to avoid disappointment?

Also dogs are great, so are cats though…. I know you much prefer cats though. (I would have a dog if I had the energy for a dog.)

rivets 11/7/2019 - 3:47 pm

Everyone I meet on the job tend to already have a family, kids, etc. And they spend all night long going on about them. They’re all aiming for being the best mundane general laborer they can be. Like it’s a sporting event. One guy got the lead position on the floor, and all the other folks are jealous of him except me – I’ve had leads before and they’re tedious and annoying. I’ve quit jobs for trying to promote me in the past. No thanks. For the life of me I can’t understand why anyone would want to put themselves through any of that.

But yeah, I don’t mind dogs. I mean, pitt bulls are the worst, but I’ll take a husky or a samoyed. To be precise here – I don’t mind people, I get along with my coworkers, but I also know that’s a tepid, thin veneer. It’s a shallow pond we’re splashing around in.

shatterediris 11/8/2019 - 1:49 am

I actually find chihuahuas to be the worst, small yapping dogs that I’m always afraid I’m going to accidentally hurt…. I’m never that comfortable handling small dogs because they feel so stiff and rigid compared to cats, even when relaxed…. Like cats are just like a puddle of furry softness when picked up (when relaxed of course, but even an anger cat feels more flexible and less fragile than any dog does) and dogs just feel rigid and breakable, it worries me…. So I prefer bigger dogs that I couldn’t pick up if I wanted to, they feel far less fragile. I also recently picked up two pit bulls that I found wandering around a back highway in the middle of night, that was stressful because I had nowhere safe to keep them, so just kind of had to walk around parks with them until I figured out what to do. Happily their owners were found with-in 4 hours…. Less happily they didn’t seem to want to leave me, they both were happy to see their owner but also attempted to follow me once I tried to leave. Their owner had to force them into the car it was kind of worrying. It was a strange experience, I can’t really recommend helping out lost critters though if you don’t have the space for them, because most shelters will not take strays. -_-

I am really sorry for rambling about random things.

shatterediris 11/8/2019 - 1:50 am

derp by picked up when referring to the pitbulls I mean I allowed them into my car. :/

this is why proofreading is important.

It'll Be Ok 11/8/2019 - 1:52 am

Lol. I do that all the time. I’ll comment THEN go back and read it and say “damn it” but it’s too late :'(

It'll Be Ok 11/7/2019 - 11:11 am

“If you express those thoughts in polite company, everybody will look at you like you’re an alien from Mars” so you just expressed your thoughts to us… does this mean we are aliens from mars and not polite company?

Morbidden 11/7/2019 - 12:20 pm

Understood that this was just a drunken rant, but if you still feel this way when you sober up maybe you should take a step back and realize that nobody is forcing you to do anything. When I get asked why I’m not married, I smile in a friendly way and say ‘it’s just not for me.’ People respect that… when you are truly happy with your decisions, not defensive or bitter. I don’t have cats but it doesn’t bother me that you have 3. More power to you. But you come across like you’re hating everyone who has dogs, gets married, or climbs the corporate ladder. Judgmentalism exposes itself under the guise of defensiveness. And it seems pretty clear that you’re judging anyone who plays by the rules. Treat their choices with respect and I bet you’ll receive the same.

It'll Be Ok 11/7/2019 - 12:25 pm

i dont think he has a problem with the people that play the game but more the people that enforce the rules.

rivets 11/7/2019 - 3:16 pm

@Morbidden: You sound like someone who’s never worked on an assembly line before. The rules are strictly enforced, arbitrary, and meant to instill a certain kind of culture that I find both repulsive and incessantly boring. People get defensive if you seem critical of it and wind up whispering about you behind your back and giving you strange looks. It’s not a fun place to be. The only options are to shoulder that condition stoically, or pretend to be just like all the other worker bees. One of the friendlier worker bees once told me, “You’ll understand it when you have your first kid.” Uh, it’s like they don’t know how to listen.

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