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I don’t want your damn turkey.

by rivets

Quit gobbling at me all the time, humans.

I wish I lived in a world where humans were not the dominant species on the planet, and had to hide in little enclaves, consumed by the daily tasks of survival, rather than scheming and pantomiming their garbage mass-produced culture. I don’t give two bits of excrement what sports are on TV right now. Give me my beer and stow it.

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21 comments

Potato 11/28/2019 - 9:58 pm

Gobble gobble

rivets 11/28/2019 - 9:59 pm

Hissssss

Potato 11/28/2019 - 10:06 pm

Just a potato. No humanz here

Anyway, The holiday sucks imo but wanted to do some kind of wishing of something or other it is real people do so, hope you enjoy your damn beer

a1957 11/28/2019 - 11:40 pm

Cheers. I had two beers today myself. And you?

rivets 11/28/2019 - 11:43 pm

I’m on #4 of some lovely Gonzo. Only 10%+ is weird enough for me.

a1957 11/29/2019 - 1:16 am

10% in a porter, nice.

a1957 11/29/2019 - 11:21 am

New brand to me. Because I’m a bit of a beer snob I went on their site. Yeah, the Double Dog is 12%. x4 a guy could be feeling ok by then.

rivets 11/29/2019 - 2:54 pm

Raging B-tch is a kick in the teeth, if you like IPA’s. Good on a cold snowy night with nothing else to do.

rivets 11/29/2019 - 5:56 pm

And today, it’s La Chouffe. I felt fancy. Now I’m la drounke.

a1957 11/29/2019 - 8:06 pm

A fancy drunque is the best. Mm Belgium.

Cause of Death: Suicide 11/29/2019 - 10:32 am

Nothing more sickening than terrifyingly stupid families eating turkey and celebrating holidays.

a1957 11/29/2019 - 11:38 am

“terrifyingly stupid families” Hey, that’s my family you’re talking about. Terrifyingly stupid families describes them precisely.

Now, according to the Hallmark channel there are only two kinds of families: great ones and great ones in the making. So I have heard of them.

But when I look around me I don’t see great families. I don’t recall ever seeing one. Well ok there could be one I know about and that is because the mother for sure cares as only few can.

Terrifyingly stupid families is what most of them are.

a1957 11/29/2019 - 11:49 am

Is it ok if I wax a bit sarcastic? What if those around the table spoke candidly? Something like “hey mom thanks for never caring about me other than custodially, that really meant a lot!” Or, ” hey pops, thanks for eroding any self confidence I ever had. How did you ever do that so well?” Or, ” thanks for having me! It is an honor and a privilege to be your narcissistic supply!”

rivets 11/29/2019 - 2:53 pm

If they spoke candidly, I’m betting they wouldn’t be at the table in the first place. It’s one of the strange contradictions unique to American culture that we promote rugged individualism while also celebrating family holidays. It may all be a ploy to sell turkeys and cranberry sauce as a bumper for the farm industries.

a1957 11/29/2019 - 4:58 pm

Being at the table in the first place seems like it would require one to be delusional in many cases. Decorations and movies (read: Hallmark) cater to an ideal that is largely doomed and yes the turkeys and cranberry sauce play nicely into the ideal to help make it a multisensory experience in delusional thinking.

rivets 11/29/2019 - 10:38 pm

Would that exist if we didn’t have mass entertainment propagating these concepts to a wide audience? Would it still exist if holiday preparations literally took months to pull together and weren’t centered on who spends the most? If you want to be the star, go kill the biggest turkey, and stuff it your damn self. No easy shortcuts at the chain grocery store. Don’t know how to make stuffing from scratch? It’s like apple pie – you must first invent the universe… Okay, that might be pushing the envelope a little far…

a1957 11/30/2019 - 2:19 pm

They monetized a holiday. When I think of it sequentially (product developers, ad agencys, script writers, actors) it puts it into perspective. Basically a seasonal party that is started by people you will never meet.

a1957 11/30/2019 - 2:23 pm

Well actually, by the time all the business work is done and the millions are banked, the promoters and providers probably think they created their own personal universes.

rivets 11/30/2019 - 8:45 pm

If I ever go to a family holiday again, I’ll get drunk with my cousin then tell everybody we’re mentally gay since we can’t think straight. Just to see what happens.

a1957 11/29/2019 - 2:06 pm

Until NFL referees make full disclosure of bribes taken for ridiculous calls that all but sealed many an outcome, I am sticking with beer.

My guess is the fee is inversely proportional to the distance to the goal line but directly proportional to the down.

visual eyes 11/29/2019 - 8:35 pm

I think celebrations can be nice… if you do it on your own time and in your own way

Thanksgiving was a shitshow in some ways for me (not going into detail). I still had things I was thankful for.

Christmas lights are cozy to me. I am not religious, I don’t specify as any particular religion. I just love having the cozy lights.

Holidays don’t have to always be or feel like an obligation. I think it depends on the circumstance and how you decide to do it. If you don’t want to do it at all, and that makes you feel more comfortable and coZy, then that’s the way to go.

I understand everything is commercialized here (US). I understand a lot of our surroundings/interactions are fake…. but not always and it doesn’t have to be that wAy either.

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