I feel so empty. My anger and depression is making it hard to distinguish reality from fantasy. I hate myself so much that it feels like a nightmare I’m living in. Like I’ve imagined this entire world in my head. It gets worse every day and I lose touch of reality as I keep living. No one understands it. I find no happiness or pleasure from anything or anyone. It’s just anger that lives inside me. People grow and move past it but I can’t. And in some ways I won’t allow myself to. I love the anger. I love the depression. I want to kill myself. That will be my ultimate happy day. Nothing in this world makes me want to live. Life is so overrated and disappointing. Sex, drugs, love, etc are all not good enough to make me want to stay. It’s all bullshit to me. It’s all overrated crap that can’t take the place of death. Dying is the best thing that will ever happen to me. I just want it to happen sooner.