He paid attention to me. no one ever paid attention to me. my parents abused me. my friends ignored me unless it was convenient for them. my boyfriends acted like i wasnt there unless they were kissing me. but he paid attention to me. he made me laugh. every time i felt bad butterflies. and every time i did nothing. i just stood there. i didnt say anything. i wanted to push his hands away and run. i wanted to run out of the school and down the road until i couldnt run anymore. it made me feel sick. and yet every time i acted like it was fine. its my fault. its all my fault. i knew better. i should have ran the first time and i didnt. instead i stayed and let it happen again and again. its all my fault.