What people Don’t Know

So, I have been on here multiple times before. I started this account when I was 14, I think. What most of my friends in my real life don’t know about me is my struggle with myself. Sometimes it’s hard to explain to people that you hate yourself, physically and mentally. If they aren’t going through the same struggle that you are, it’s hard for them to understand why or how someone would feel this way. So, this is my only real outlet. Sometimes just looking at the comments of other people trying to lift me up makes it easier to get through the day ahead. None of my friends or family know that I am on here, and none of them ever will. I have been dealing with depression basically on my own for the past 10 years, and I will continue to fight this battle without anyone else being drug down with me. The ironic part about this site: I found it when I was looking up ways to kill yourself. Instead, I found the support system that I needed, but didn’t know. I still have bad days, when nothing can make me feel better about myself, but most days, I can find at least one good thing to keep me going. I seek that stability, that I’ve always had, but feel like I am slowly losing. I lost my boyfriend, I am starting to isolate myself from my best friends from home, my best friend at college is leaving next semester, and my sister is 2 hours away from me. I don’t feel stable right now, which is why I am back on here. I am trying to find stability and security, and this might be it.