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by Jack

I finally found the power within myself to kill myself soon.

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WickedApparition 12/2/2019 - 1:22 am

That isn’t power. Anyone can kill themselves. Even a two year old can place a plastic bag over their head and kill themselves.

No, you’ve actually done the opposite. Are quite literally giving away the power you have over yourself and your decisions.

Kind of odd to know that you’ve been powerful this entire time, and it was possible your perspective of that truth which has inhibited you.

It’s not too late for you to reclaim that power.

Jack 12/2/2019 - 2:24 am

I always fought for survival but now I feel dead.

LetTheLostKittensPlay 12/2/2019 - 2:56 pm

How arrogant are you, WickedApparition?

Don’t you realise how difficult it is to get past the survival instinct? Sure, a 2 year old can place a plastic bag over their head, but they’re not actively wanting to end their lives. They haven’t had to deal with the hardships from dealing with others, having a negative hand in life, and having a mental illness. Sure, they may be very unlucky and have parents that don’t like them. They may be born into an abusive household which is going to break them inside. But a 2 year old mindlessly placing a plastic bag on their head isn’t comparable to an adult wanting to end their lives yet having to deal with survival instinct.

It takes a lot of willpower to go through with suicide. It takes a lot of willpower as someone who fears death, who fears physical pain, to be able to go through with this.

WickedApparition 12/2/2019 - 2:34 am

What you just said is that you are letting a feeling dictate your action instead of logic.

You are allowed to feel dead, but that doesn’t mean you are dead, nor does that mean you have to stop trying. – It is a perfectly acceptable option for you to keep trying and to feel dead at the same time.

Jack 12/2/2019 - 3:43 am

I had many bad feelings and suicidal thoughts but this time I felt like this is it.

LetTheLostKittensPlay 12/2/2019 - 3:04 pm

Fears are real. They can’t just easily be brushed aside, not always. Keep this in mind, there could be stuff happening in OP’s life that are beyond his control. Stuff that self-care rituals aren’t enough to help with. Bear in mind that not everything can simply be brushed aside and overcome. It takes a lot.

I hope, if he has any help available, he’s able to pursue it.

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