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by kill_me

Can someone just tell me how to die? I’m really tired of everything. This is my limit and I can’t go beyond it.

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a1957 12/15/2019 - 3:50 pm

Before I started typing I looked at some of your other posts. You have been through a lot. Your feelings, and body, they don’t get respect at home. Well they should get respect but they don’t.
The family is really stuck in their feelings at home, the ones that dismiss your feelings and mental health. You have a natural right to mental health. We are what we think so yeah mental health is way more important than they think it is.
Did a family member, or somebody, show you a new round of disregard? Whatever happened, sorry.

kill_me 12/16/2019 - 3:40 pm

They don’t even know I have ptsd and depression. It’s funny how I’ve had several attacks but they don’t even notice a thing. They just dismiss me as a lazy and stuck up kid.

This coming christmas we’re gonna stay with my relatives on my father side. I’m gonna sit in a room with that cousin of mine who’s not even worthy of any respect. Last and this yr was the worst of my mental health and I’m not sure if I can still manage to act normal with him in that same room smiling like nothing happened not knowing that I’m suffering like this.

Every christmas we stay with them and each time I bring with me a book and just bury myself into it even though they say I don’t really care of my family. The fact is I care. Probably too much that I decided to conceal everything about my mental health and what happened with me and that guy. I prevented my family from breaking apart but they’re the ones who keeps on shattering my heart. I don’t need to be fixed or healed or whatever. People just need to stop breaking me.

a1957 12/16/2019 - 10:13 pm

Grrr. Grrrr. You have family members that are so caught up in their own roles, images, and distractions that they can’t see another family member is in pain and instead pass off your pain as lazy, stuck up, etc. etc and you yourself as a scapegoat. You are in deadly pain and they can’t even see it.
That cousin is a sick person. I hope you can get as much distance as possible from him. Mental distancing can work pretty good when tons of physical distance is not practical.

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