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Never number 1

by beautifulsinner

I love having BPD. I love it so much, those abandonment issues. Those rocky relationships. Whenever feelings go south I keep thinking about suicide, I don’t know how to cope normally. I don’t know how to not think about killing my self when I feel negative emotion. I broke up with my boyfriend today and now I feel like dying. This isn’t normal I know. And I’m not going to tell him how I feel. Because that is Unfair to him. But I want someone to know this is how I feel. I’ll never be someone’s number 1

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WrongPuzzlePiece 12/10/2019 - 7:02 pm

Feel the same here. It is unfair to them telling it, it is unfair to you to be so sensitive.

I have moved from recovering enough vitality to want do stuff and live to feel like dying… In just two days. Don’t know if that has any name, but again; totally feel you. It will become better at some point. You might comforted by the fact you are not putting extra negative thoughts on others regarding how you feel. You have been kind on this, at least. Good luck… And thanks for sharing

beautifulsinner 12/13/2019 - 9:38 pm

Thank you 🙂

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