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Shut down

by Abandoned

1And just like that everything shut down. Im hurt and want to cry but i cant. I can barely move. Picking up my phone to write this pained me. I feel empty…hollow. and at the same time like im going to explode. I see no reason to continue. No reason to keep going. Im missimg a “happy” moment because of this. A christmas present for my husband and grandfather just got delivered. I was SO happy earlier. It made me realize how many happy moments i missed and how many im going to miss in the future.

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12 comments

a1957 12/15/2019 - 2:00 pm

I see mention of emotional shutdown and numbness in a lot of the literature for those who are recovering from a relationship with a narcissistic person. You are not alone in this.

It'll Be Ok 12/15/2019 - 2:04 pm

that was the first time i ever shut down like that. he was so scared he almost took me to the hospital because he didnt know what was going on

a1957 12/15/2019 - 3:56 pm

Completely natural reaction to what you have been through. Sorry it happened though.

a1957 12/15/2019 - 3:58 pm

Sorry the bad things happened that is. We react as we do. Gawd, so have I.

It'll Be Ok 12/15/2019 - 4:06 pm

My husband asked how he could help but I didn’t have an answer. How can you help when the problem is yourself. All I know to do is keep telling my loved ones it isn’t them I just can’t stand these mood swings

a1957 12/16/2019 - 8:38 pm

My wife would feel so helpless when I had a flashback from childhood. A woman so used to problem solving in the business world was having difficulty with seeing a serious problem she had no training for dealing with. She cared and believed in me and always made sure I knew it. She always made sure I would not “forget” my next therapy appointment and that it was always paid for. She felt helpless and said so many times but was really far more help than she realized.

It'll Be Ok 12/17/2019 - 3:45 am

My husband trys to help. But it doesn’t really help. It makes me feel more like a hindrance. My disorder feels like an excuse. There’s no reason for it.

a1957 12/18/2019 - 9:31 pm

Does “It makes me feel more like a hindrance” mean he is trying to overly or unnecessarily accommodate you or did I go down the wrong path?

It'll Be Ok 12/19/2019 - 3:55 am

I’m an independent personal I find this helping thing annoying and unnecessary even though it is

a1957 12/24/2019 - 7:24 pm

I get the independent person feeling. It sounds like you let other persons help a bit. Not easy, right?

It'll Be Ok 12/24/2019 - 7:26 pm

i dont have much of a choice. some days i lack the ability to do anything

rivets 12/17/2019 - 4:31 am

Give it some time. Those mood swings will level out. And it’s not an excuse if it causes actual changes in how you act. That’s some real shit right there. It’s more real than quantum physics.

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