31-12-2019
I already write my suicide note, suicide voice note, amd everything i need to pass down to people around me.
I drink around 20 pills with water around 11 pm. At first its feels okay. Then my head start spinning, then i my stomach hurts like hell, then I vomit around 5 times.. And its already 5 am..
I keep pondering should i tell my parents or not cause it hurts like hell. Then around 7 am I tell my mom..
We go to ICU and the doctor give me some meds. But it still hurts like hell. What I heard is my mom and dad keep praying for me. And here I am still alive..
Not gonna try this anymore.. its too painful..
Ill try to live my life more.. I WILL DO MY BEST !!!
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2 comments
Live or die, no point in half-measures. You tried dying. Didn’t work out. Now try living.
Maybe this brush with death will make you live deeper. My best wishes ?
I relate. I gave leaving my best effort. When it did not result in harm, I just could not bring myself to have another go at it. Even though that left me with a ton of emotional pain to sort out, pain that I had hoped to end by dying, going was just not going to happen. Now I do my best to live and work to live my best. It is working.