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Sense of worth

by fakingit

I always come back. I reread my old posts. I browse new ones. I dont even necessarily wanna die anymore but I always am so drawn to this place.

Recently been trying to identify why I feel so unworthy and unwanted by people around me. I feel as if people always leave me, they no longer see value in me and that’s really affecting me and always has.

Moving though was the best thing for me, I love Arizona, I love the new people I met here. However the feelings run so deep for me i just want to latch on and i wish people showed how important i am. Cause i feel worthless.

The friends I’ve made from here, all gone. I try reaching out and get silence. I dont know what’s so wrong with me that people never wanna stay in my life.

This is just a ramble post. So many thoughts. I’m happy where I’m at for the most part but I can never get over the fact that no one stays around. I wish I knew why I’m not good enough.

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Deadstar7 1/22/2020 - 2:32 pm

I remember you from when I was on here years ago. Things were different here then.

People have changed too. But it doesn’t make this place any less relatable or like a comfort zone is a sense.

I learned a while ago that other people leaving has nothing to do with you or not being good enough. Everyone is just constantly in search of something that is always just so far out of reach. In the end everyone will continue to come and go. Mental illness has no real cure, most people don’t understand that. Even when everything ends up being okay it is like this waiting game and this feeling of not being able to breathe or be fully happy. A lot of times I think we see our future selves as different people because we doubt we will ever really get there. Then when we do we aren’t sure what the next step is.

I’m glad you’re still here. You should only ever be good enough for you.

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