I was wondering if anyone else has truly given up on trying to find a lover/soulmate or whatever you wanna call it. Is that too much for you to accept? That you’ll be alone for your short lifespan. I know I’ve made peace with it and I’m only 23 years old. But I know where I stand in this. I now live for a different purpose than the one most suburbia people strive for. I don’t want to have that relationship anymore…..I never had one and I don’t care anymore. I’m not turning into an incel….I refuse to think that way. To become an incel you have to feel like the world did you dirty. Well I don’t feel that way. I simply realize and accept that I will be alone forever. I’m okay with that. After I’ve always had a deep desire for something else in this life. The urge to truly commit my life to contributing something to society before I leave. I know nothing lasts forever. This planet will be gone someday and so long term nothing really matters but short term I can at the very least do something for those of you who succeeded in being human. I am here for you all. My happiness is selfish so I refuse to try anymore. All that does is create more heartache but I’ve found an escape to that madness. If I refuse deep connection, if I refuse to desire then there will never be anymore heartache in me. No I now live to better this world in my own way. I have a mission to complete and there’s just no time for love. That’ll be my perfect excuse. I’m too broken of a man that even if women take interest in me or show signs nowadays I immediately ensure that I don’t even make the slightest response. I don’t deserve that and I don’t want that kind of thing anymore. I’ll never feel that way ever again. Call me a loser if you wish it really doesn’t matter to me anymore. I’ve tasted ridicule and taunting like it’s all I’ve ever known. I’m numb to that stuff. Some people don’t like to hear this because they still believe in it for themselves but it’s my life….I can choose this route if I wish. After all it is only in our DNA to desire a “partner”….but that’s precisely my point. I don’t feel human anymore.