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I find in mystifying….

by Rainwatch

I find it mystifying how   ” normies” (a phrase I discovered on this site referring to the non suicidal) actually believe suicide is a choice. You’ll often hear remarks such as  ” he chose to end his life”,  ” he made the decision to end his life”. Incorrect, dreadfully incorrect. Suicide is never chosen it is imposed upon you. It’s like the old excuse of the alcoholic  ” I didn’t choose the drink, the drink chose me”. Suicide chooses you, it’s not the other way round. Nobody in human history ever chose suicide it was employed because there was no other way, no other option, their hands were tied, simple as. I hope the people I leave behind can see it from that perspective, I doubt it, but that’s my hope.



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Rainwatch 2/24/2020 - 9:53 am

” I find it mystifying” should be title of post. Typos occur when you post from a phone.

404 2/24/2020 - 9:58 am

I know right. Like yeah I so love thinking about dying all the time it’s so much fun. Sometimes I wonder if they ever actually think about it.

Rainwatch 2/24/2020 - 10:03 am

They don’t think about it. They see things differently from us, therefore they have no right to judge anyone who dies by their own hand.

404 2/24/2020 - 10:23 am

What’s that saying? Something about not judging people because you haven’t been in their shoes or something. Yeah more people need to do that.

thehusk 2/24/2020 - 12:47 pm

Does anyone ever really choose anything? We make decisions, but those decisions are ultimately based upon factors beyond our control. Perhaps we have chemical imbalances in our brains, or chronic pain, or social circumstances that we find intolerable.

We may be unable to do otherwise. But then those who judge us may also be unable to see it any other way.

404 2/24/2020 - 4:35 pm

i understand the lack of understanding among “normies” but they have say 5 different paths they can take in life. now if someone was to start taking those paths away 1 by 1 (a mental illness getting worse) youre suddenly left with that one dark path with the trees and the scary owl. and thats all you can see now because everything else was taken away. “oh well the paths are still there you just cant see them.” well yeah but no. those nice gentle paths through the field suddenly became mt everest. i know for me personally to have my dream of running a bakery is basically impossible because…….i should be in a mental hospital. when i have a mental breakdown im a major danger to myself, im currently dealing with a massive headache because i hit my head off the window so hard several times im surprised the window’s not broken and ripped out some of my hair. and god forbid someone tries to stop me. my husband has a scar down his leg from months ago because he decided to stop me. im a danger to myself and others. how im not in a mental hospital is surprising. of course this is a major example and its why ive been yelling at my friend for years to get help before he becomes like me. it use to be simple. just a bit of crying, the occasional “i wish this was over” but much like an infection if you dont help a mental disorder before its too late you could lose a whole limb, or in this case your life. (wow im really good at going off topic. point is our chemical make up in our brain is….lets say missing a few chemicals with maybe a few toxic ones thrown in making it out of our control)

thehusk 2/24/2020 - 7:44 pm

That is doubtless a shitty situation to be in. My point was only that if your behavior is based upon the state of your brain, that also applies to those judging you. While there may be any number of theoretical paths any of us could take, the actual path we do take is governed by the forces that shape us.

If someone has been conditioned to maintain an absolute belief in self-control despite all contrary evidence, that’s not something they chose – it’s something they are. Beliefs are not consciously chosen – they’re formed.

404 2/24/2020 - 11:35 pm

Yeah I wasnt feeling the best at the time so I went way off topic. But what you say makes a lot of sense. Kinda like if someone is minorly abused for their whole life they might think it’s normal. In a normies case theyve always had control of their thoughts so the possibility of no control just seems impossible to them

muspelhem 2/26/2020 - 7:45 pm

I think it is a choice. The actual act of suicide is a choice. Taking your life is not easy. It goes against a pretty primal survival instinct. That being said, you are right that most suicidal people probably feel like life dealt them a shitty hand and they’re tired of losing.

muspelhem 2/26/2020 - 7:46 pm

Also, when you dig down, I think you find that there are fewer “normies” than it might appear on the surface. A lot of people who seem like they have it all together have been suicidal.

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