Everyday I think this to myself.
I’m so tired.
You know what I’m tired of. You understand.
I’m so fucking tired.
Difficult to pinpoint what but you, who feels the same way, gets it.
Fate isn’t real.
Destiny isn’t real.
Purpose isn’t real.
They are all illusion, for people to keep living.
We are the ones who choose our fate, our destiny, and what our purpose is.
I know that, I’ve passed existential crisis before I even entered college.
Gratifying; it leaves you feeling like you can be whatever you want. Fuck society and its limits.
Also, Numbing; it leaves you hollow. The knowledge that you’re really just stardust and will go back to stardust.
More encouragement to live life to the fullest, right?
Or just end it right here, right now, at this very moment.
So, I am so afraid for when I lose my passion for what I want to do in life.
I say ‘when’ not ‘if’, because it is depleting.
Little by little, as I think “I’m tired” to myself.
Why fear death, when it is an immediate release, rather than suffering a slow succumb to the cold pits of hell with no passion for its raging flames.
Our lifespan is too long.
I don’t want to wait.
I can’t end it either.
I just want to go back to being nothing.
I don’t want to endure anymore.
I truly am tired.